Meet H. Neil Matkin

Something to be thankful for: that you’re not teaching at Collin College, with H. Neil Matkin as your president. From The Chronicle of Higher Education:

The news arrived on Friday, nested deep in an email that landed during a Faculty Council Zoom meeting. Only after someone had reached the 22nd paragraph did professors learn what had happened, and when they did, a few began to cry.

“To date, we are aware of one Collin College student who has passed away from complications from Covid-19 and, as of last week, one faculty member,” H. Neil Matkin, president of the community-college district in Texas, wrote. The student’s death had been reported in late October, but the announcement that a colleague had died came as a fresh blow. In the same paragraph, near the bottom of the email, Matkin also disclosed that a staff member was hospitalized.

All of it appeared in an email beneath the subject line “College Update & Happy Thanksgiving!”

One of Matkin’s talking points about COVID-19: “I have chosen to never live my life in fear.” Sounds familiar.

Here’s another example of Matkin in action.

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Words of the year From Oxford Languages, many words.

“Initial protocols”

Donald L. Trump*, tweeting, has recommended that General Services Administration head “Emily [Murphy] and her team do what needs to be done with regard to initial protocols, and have told my team to do the same.”

Initial protocols? About what? He can’t even say.

It’s difficult to imagine a less graceful loser. Hurry, January.

Mystery actor

[Click for a larger view.]

This one’s tough, I think. Do you recognize her? Leave your best guess in the comments. I’ll drop hints as appropriate.

*

Here’s a hint: She’s best known for her work in commercials. But even then, you’ll probably need to look up her name.

*

This one is tough. I’m adding the answer in the comments.

More mystery actors (Collect them all!)
? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ?

[Garner’s Modern English Usage notes that “support for actress seems to be eroding.” I use actor.]

A joke in the traditional manner

This one is from my son Ben, shared with permission: Why are supervillains good at staying warm in the winter?

The punchline is in the comments. Thanks, Ben.

More jokes in the traditional manner
The Autobahn : Did you hear about the cow coloratura? : Did you hear about the shape-shifting car? : Did you hear about the thieving produce clerk? : Elementary school : A Golden Retriever : How did Bela Lugosi know what to expect? : How did Samuel Clemens do all his long-distance traveling? : How do amoebas communicate? : How do ghosts hide their wrinkles? : How do worms get to the supermarket? : Of all the songs in the Great American Songbook, which is the favorite of pirates? : What did the doctor tell his forgetful patient to do? : What did the plumber do when embarrassed? : What happens when a senior citizen visits a podiatrist? : What is the favorite toy of philosophers’ children? : What’s the name of the Illinois town where dentists want to live? : What’s the worst thing about owning nine houses? : What was the shepherd doing in the garden? : Where do amoebas golf? : Where does Paul Drake keep his hot tips? : Which member of the orchestra was best at handling money? : Why did the doctor spend his time helping injured squirrels? : Why did Oliver Hardy attempt a solo career in movies? : Why did the ophthalmologist and his wife split up? : Why does Marie Kondo never win at poker? : Why is the Fonz so cool? : Why sharpen your pencil to write a Dad joke? : Why was Santa Claus wandering the East Side of Manhattan?

[“In the traditional manner”: by or à la my dad. He gets credit for the Autobahn, the elementary school, the Golden Retriever, Bela Lugosi, Samuel Clemens, the doctor, the plumber, the senior citizen, Oliver Hardy, and the ophthalmologist. Elaine gets credit for the Illinois town. My dad was making such jokes long before anyone called them “dad jokes.” I continue in the traditional manner.]

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Hagoromo Fulltouch Chalk Now with a tour of the factory.

Safari 14.0.1 problems

If you use Safari on a Mac, you might want to hold off on the 14.0.1 update. It breaks things. Blogger can no longer upload images. (Dragging images into Blogger still works, sometimes.) Gmail can no longer upload attachments. Both problems have been reported by users, including me. (In other words, it’s not Just Me.)

My workaround is Brave, minus the “rewards.”

*

November 23: It appears that this problem affects Macs still using Mojave. Any button that serves to open the Finder and browse files for uploading no longer works. The current recommendation is to reinstall the operating system. A simpler recommendation might be to ditch Safari.

Really disappointing, Apple. I download an update that’s supposed to be for my device and it breaks my browser.

“Rule number one of scholarship”

Simon Darcourt is unhappy.

Robertson Davies, The Lyre of Orpheus (1988).

Any academic who’s emptied their office before retiring can attest to what Rev. Darcourt says — if, of course, that academic is a true scholar.

But wait — true scholars don’t empty their offices. They keep their offices or just move everything to a new location.

The Lyre of Orpheus is the third novel of The Cornish Trilogy.

Related reading
All OCA Robertson Davies posts (Pinboard)

[True scholar, or no? Only the janitor knows for sure.]

What next?

As the walls close in and clichés multiply, how long before Donald L. Trump* makes an explicit claim that COVID-19 was created to destroy his chances of re-election?

[L. is not a typo.]

Nancy, poet

[Nancy, November 19, 2020. Click for a larger view.]

I saved Thursday’s strip because I’m a sap about fall. I didn’t realize until I looked again today just how clever Olivia Jaimes is.

Related reading
All OCA Nancy posts (Pinboard)

[Yes, there’s a typo. A typo, not a lettering mistake, since Nancy, like so many comic strips, uses a digital typeface.]