Ralph Kramden’s list

[Ralph Kramden’s bad points and good points, by Ralph Kramden. From the Honeymooners episode “Young Man with a Horn,” March 24, 1956. Click for a much larger view.]

I have the thirty-nine “classic” Honeymooners episodes on DVD, but I am still driven to watch whatever episode airs on Sunday night on MeTV. “Young Man with a Horn” aired this past Sunday. In this episode a visit from doughnut-company owner August Gunther and his wife to the Kramdens’ apartment — the Gunthers’ first apartment, many years ago — prompts Ralph to emulate Mr. Gunther and aim to become a success by eliminating his weaknesses and building up his strong points.


Bad points: 1. Late for work. 2. Oversleeping. 3. Snores. 4. Loses temper. 5. Don’t pay debts. 6. Too fat. 7. Brags. 8. Connives. 9. Daydreams. 10. Avoids responsibility. 11. Stubborn. 12. Too fat. 13. Overeats. 14. Neglects wife. 15. Spends foolishly. 16. Gullible. 17. Sloppy dresser. 18. Treats wife like workhorse. 19. Generally untidy. 20. Too fat. 21. Talks too much. 22. Argues too much.

Good points: 1. Loves wife. 2. Admits mistakes. 3. Soft hearted. 4. Has good intentions. 5. Basically honest when pinned down.

Norton suggested bad point no. 5: “You owed me two dollars for the last month.” And after Ralph pays up: “I knew it’d work!” Norton’s single suggested good point, which sort of makes this list: “The sweetest guy in the world.”

“Young Man with a Horn” is one of the most poignant Honeymooners episodes. It has very little yelling, and is nearly all hope, failure, and hope.

You can watch this episode now at YouTube.

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An afterthought: It occurred to me that aside from the names of members behind in dues, written on a chalkboard in the Raccoon lodge, Ralph’s list of bad points and good points might be the only handwritten text we ever see in The Honeymooners.

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[Individual items on the list shift in and out of focus as the camera moves away from the wall. I transcribed with care. As far as I can tell, this transcription is the only one to be found online. I am thinking of this post as a fleeting refuge from the horror of current events.]

Small pleasures

We were making our way through the empty TV hour that precedes two late-night episodes of Murphy Brown. We had Antiques Roadshow on for lack of anything better. I flipped to see the descriptions of the upcoming Murphy Brown episodes and read aloud: “/ˈkā-mē-ˌō/ appearances by,” &c. I always say /ˈkā-mē-ˌō/. I always have it wrong. Elaine always points out that it’s pronounced /ˈka-mē-ˌō/. And I continue to get it wrong.

Back at the Roadshow, someone soon said /ˈka-mē-ˌō/. And on the first of the night’s Murphy Brown episodes, someone said /ˈka-mē-ˌō/. The second episode had the cameos, by Ed Bradley, Bob Dole, Linda Ellerbee, and many others.

The Antiques Roadshow episode was from /spō-ˈkan/, Washington, not /spō-ˈkān/. That’s how it goes in the spoken language.

The small pleasures here are two: 1. hearing cameo pronounced correctly, once in our living room, twice on on TV, and 2. getting a lesson in pronunciation that will stick.

[Nos. 6 and 7 in a series.]

Mystery actor

[Click for a larger view.]

The guy on the phone: recognize him? I didn’t. Leave your best guess in a comment. I’ll drop a hint if needed.

*

That didn’t take long. This actor’s name is now in the comments.

More mystery actors (Collect them all!)
? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? : ? :

“?”

Bill Griffith channels Carl Thomas Anderson.

Venn reading
All OCA Henry posts : Henry and Zippy posts : Zippy posts (Pinboard)

“A Dance to Shpring”

Patrick McDonnell channels Jules Feiffer.

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All OCA Mutts posts (Pinboard)

Today’s Newsday Saturday

Today’s Newsday  Saturday crossword, by Matthew Sewell, is not an exceptionally difficult puzzle, but I have to remind myself: it’s a Themeless Saturday, not a Saturday Stumper. The puzzle was a pleasure to solve, with lively fill and a few tricky spots, particularly in the southwest corner, where I was sure I must have had something wrong. But I didn’t. It’s strange fun to get the puzzle right without knowing why. I think of it as the crossword equivalent of “Bank error in your favor.” Okay, if you say so.

Some clue-and-answer pairs I especially liked:

2-D, nine letters, “Breaking the host’s bowl, for example.” Takes me back, or forward, to the world of hosts and guests.

6-D, seven letters, “Hard seltzer category.” It’s only hard seltzer, but the answer sounds so lowdown to me. The reason is in the comments.

7-D, seven letters, “White pet cited by Aristotle.” I think mentioned might be more accurate. I’m not sure what it might have said in Greek.

16-A, ten letters, “Scrooge, to Dewey or Louie.” So that’s what he is.

22-A, four letters, “Dollywood group.” I heard it from a customer-service person on the phone the other day and loved it.

44-A, twelve letters, “Real dilemma.” Simultaneously lively and dowdy.

56-A, four letters, “Not a long range.” The answer made me think I must have made a mistake.

58-D, three letters, “Nickname for a Genesis patriarch namesake.” Nicely unexpected.

My favorite clue in this puzzle:

46-A, five letters, “It depends on oral interpretation.” So clever. And even after filling in an answer, which I thought couldn’t be right, I didn’t get the point, not right away.

No spoilers; the answers are in the comments.

“One rancid corn dog”

[“Herb Caen Was My Co-Pilot!” Zippy, March 19, 2021. Click for a more nostalgic view.]

That’s a Doggie Diner dog head, dreaming of 1970s San Francisco. The head is a familiar element in Zippy, as is M. Proust. In 2007, Zippy visited Proust’s grave in Père Lachaise.

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Acorn 7

Acorn, an image editor for macOS, just received a major update. For a limited time, Acorn is available for $19.99, half the regular price. I just updated, and the new Acorn 7 looks great. One big improvement: the floating palettes that popped up all over the screen are gone, replaced by a single window with a toolbar. But a choosy user can have it the old way too.

My only connection to Acorn is that of a happy and enthusiastic user. I like the free app Seashore too, but for some tasks, it has to be Acorn.

Recently updated

#Sedition3PTruck Chris Miller has been censured by the Illinois House.

Insurrection

A chilling episode of the podcast Criminal : “If it ever happens, run,” an account of an 1898 coup in Wilmington, North Carolina. Draw your own parallels.