In The New York Times today, in an article about the attempted assassination:
The crack of the bullets are heard as they pass the microphone that Mr. Trump speaks into.Subject and verb should always agree. Sheesh, Times : this sentence has been standing as is since early this morning.
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8:13 p.m.: I’ll be more expansive. What makes the sentence especially awkward is that you can't fix it by writing “the cracks of the bullets” — that sounds downright strange. I would choose something like this:
Three sounds are heard — crack, crack, crack — as the bullets pass the microphone that Mr. Trump speaks into.Or simpler:
Three sounds are heard — crack, crack, crack — as the bullets pass Mr. Trump’s microphone.The Times sentence is still standing as is.
Related reading
All OCA How to improve writing posts (Pinboard)
[This post is no. 123 in a series dedicated to improving stray bits of public prose.]
Sheesh, indeed. Such a basic error.
ReplyDeleteI got curious about the "crack" of a bullet--is it a cliche? is it real? I looked it up.
Maybe you know this, but I had no idea:
"There’s... an audible crack when the bullet passes by someone. This ‘crack’ is heard because some bullets travel at speeds that are greater than the speed of sound itself. These fast-moving projectiles create shockwaves as they zip through the air, which produce a distinct crack. In fact, a zipping bullet is a miniature instance of a sonic boom."
--www.scienceabc.com/eyeopeners/why-is-there-such-a-loud-noise-when-a-bullet-is-fired.html
I did read something in the days after the shooting about the speed of bullets. This article doesn’t explain the sound. Thanks for that link.
ReplyDeleteWhat makes that sentence especially awkward is that you can't fix it with “the cracks of the bullets,” which sounds strange. I would choose something like this: “Three sounds are heard — crack, crack, crack — as the bullets pass the microphone that Mr. Trump speaks into.”
Maybe" The cracking of the bullets are heard as they pass..."
ReplyDeleteLook again — there’s still the agreement error.
ReplyDeleteOr make the bullets the subject, "You can hear the bullets crack as they pass..."
ReplyDeleteBut I like your fix, Michael--sound effects! More film noirish.
Sure. I think the passive voice is fine, since there’s no one in particular listening. As in any discussion of details in a recording: “a voice can be heard saying,” &c.
ReplyDelete