“Did you do the dishes last night?”
“Yes, you identified me as doing them, as such.”
Elaine and I have been working the empty phrases “as such” and “at that” into our conversation. Living where we do, we have long been accustomed to making our own fun.
How, earlier in the day, had I identified Elaine as the dishdoer? By the spatula in the dishdrainer. Elaine puts those larger tools in the cutlery cups. I stand them up in the small rectangles formed by the coated wires running the length and width of the drainer. When I asked about the dishes, the spatula was gone.
As I said, “our own fun.” And good fun at that.
I have written this post in the excellent writing app iA Writer. When I turned on the Style Check (for fun), the app suggested removing “as such” from these sentences. No way.
Related reading
All OCA domestic comedy posts (Pinboard)
Sunday, March 28, 2021
Domestic comedy
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
comments: 8
Your sense of humor, as such, is a pleasure to behold. (Wait - is that the correct usage of the phrase? When read aloud, it sounds insulting, which I didn't intend.)
On another note, a couple of days ago I asked my 50-year-old daughter if she knew the difference between cats and parenthetical phrases. She had never heard the question before! Can you imagine?!
I’ll borrow from Garner’s Modern English Usage:
In this phrase [as such], such is a pronoun requiring an antecedent.”
An example he gives: “There has been an abundance of English slang from at least the sixteenth century to the present time, but it has always been recognized as such [i.e., as slang].
Also: “Sometimes the phrase causes an ambiguity when the referent isn’t clear.” And: “Some writers faddishly use as such as if it meant ‘thus’ or ‘therefore.’”
I saw students do that often. Something like this: “I will not be able to attend class today. As such, I will leave my essay in your mailbox.”
Garner again: “Obviously, this phrase requires much care.” But not in our house!
Martha, I don’t want to say it, but I’ve never heard that question either. I had to look it up and found something similar about cats and commas (which I had also never heard).
I imagine the following future dialogue:
Parent: Did you steal the cookies from the cookie jar?
Child: Yes, I identify as the person who stole the cookies from the cookie jar.
It is nice to know enough about writing that you can overrule the grammar check. Me too.
Chris, how about “As such, yes, I identify as,” &c.
Sean, yes, grammar checkers and style checkers can do nothing more than offer suggestions, following algorithms that cannot account for all circumstances. Here’s a celebrated page showing some inadequacies of MS Word’s grammar and spelling management.
I like the spirit behind the iA Writer Style Check, explained in detail here. But I would turn it on only for fun, out of curiosity.
My ninth grade English teacher told us the difference between a parenthetical phrase and a cat is that there is a pause (comma) at the end of the clause but claws at the end of the cat's paws.
Elaine figured out right away that it was something about claws and a pause. How did I make it this far without ever hearing it? I’m glad I did. Thanks for sharing it. : )
I mean I’m glad that I heard it, not that I made it this far without hearing it.
Post a Comment