[Mark Trail, March 10, 2015.]
It is well known that Mark Trail recycles old storylines and old art. (An intrepid reader known as The Foo Bird traced the just-ended moose story and its art to 1952.) Today’s strip shows a different kind of recycling: repurposing the previous day’s tiny portion of narrative.
Yesterday: “Not far from Lost Forest, the instincts of a young beaver tell him that it’s time to leave the colony in order to go out and start a family of his own.”
Today: “Now, however, his instincts are telling him that it is time to leave the safety of his lodge and venture out into the wild to find a mate and start a colony of his own.”
I can imagine tomorrow’s strip: “But now the young beaver knows that the time has come for him to leave the comforts of childhood and begin a family, not to mention a colony, of his very own.”
It’s possible to improve today’s strip, like yesterday’s, with thoughtful editing:
[Mark Trail revised, March 10, 2015.]
But that’s too thoughtful, really. Better:
[Mark Trail revised, March 10, 2015. William Strunk Jr.: “Omit needless words! Omit needless words! Omit needless words!”]
Where will this storyline go? I suspect something along these lines: Beaver homestead frustrates local developer’s plans for river. Developer makes ready with traps — or dynamite. Mark Trail to the rescue. It’s been done, more or less, in an episode of Lassie.
Related reading
All OCA How to improve writing posts (Pinboard)
[This post is no. 55 in a series, “How to improve writing,” dedicated to improving stray bits of public prose.]
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
How to improve writing (no. 55)
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comments: 6
Ohmy god, this is so fun!
Taking a few liberties, I took a turn myself:
"Lost in the Forest, his young beaver instinct tells him to lodge a safety complaint, leave his family, find a wild mate, and venture fund a startup of his own.”
[What happens to a capitalist on a Spirit Quest...?]
P.S. That was Fresca (Frex), as you know, right? Sorry, sometimes I'm too lazy to sign in and out of different online accounts.
Ha! Yes, I know that’s you.
How can he venture (out) into the wild? Isn't he in the wild? Or is this one of those entitled young suburban beavers with helicopter parents?
That’s a good question. I guess anything beyond “home” could be considered the wild. I think reading Mark Trail is rendering me unable to think about nature clearly.
Funny, when I was a kid I used to love reading Mark Trail for the tidbits of info on nature.
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