[Mark Trail, March 9, 2015.]
It’s not the instincts that are “not far from Lost Forest”; it’s the beaver himself. And “leave the colony in order to go out” is cumbersome phrasing.
[Mark Trail revised, March 9, 2015.]
From forty syllables to thirty, from thirty-two words to twenty-three. Big savings. Fare forward, young family-man, and best of luck to you in the Trail world.
Mark Trail has provided material for two other “How to improve writing” posts, nos. 44 and 46.
All OCA How to improve writing posts (Pinboard)
[This post is no. 54 in a series, “How to improve writing,” dedicated to improving stray bits of public prose.]
Monday, March 9, 2015
By Michael Leddy at 12:36 PM