[Mark Trail, March 10, 2015.]
It is well known that Mark Trail recycles old storylines and old art. (An intrepid reader known as The Foo Bird traced the just-ended moose story and its art to 1952.) Today’s strip shows a different kind of recycling: repurposing the previous day’s tiny portion of narrative.
Yesterday: “Not far from Lost Forest, the instincts of a young beaver tell him that it’s time to leave the colony in order to go out and start a family of his own.”
Today: “Now, however, his instincts are telling him that it is time to leave the safety of his lodge and venture out into the wild to find a mate and start a colony of his own.”
I can imagine tomorrow’s strip: “But now the young beaver knows that the time has come for him to leave the comforts of childhood and begin a family, not to mention a colony, of his very own.”
It’s possible to improve today’s strip, like yesterday’s, with thoughtful editing:
[Mark Trail revised, March 10, 2015.]
But that’s too thoughtful, really. Better:
[Mark Trail revised, March 10, 2015. William Strunk Jr.: “Omit needless words! Omit needless words! Omit needless words!”]
Where will this storyline go? I suspect something along these lines: Beaver homestead frustrates local developer’s plans for river. Developer makes ready with traps — or dynamite. Mark Trail to the rescue. It’s been done, more or less, in an episode of Lassie.
All OCA How to improve writing posts (Pinboard)
[This post is no. 55 in a series, “How to improve writing,” dedicated to improving stray bits of public prose.]
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
By Michael Leddy at 9:27 AM