Two TALs

Two exceptional recent episodes of This American Life: “The Possum Experiment” and “Name. Age. Detail.”

How Dr. Fauci caught COVID

From In the Bubble with Andy Slavitt. Dr. Anthony Fauci comments on the “remarkable transmissibility” of the virus:

“I have been compulsively careful about wearing masks and not being exposed in congregant settings. And I know exactly when I got infected. I had to go up to my sixtieth college reunion, where they were honoring me by naming a building, the Anthony Fauci Science Center, which was such a wonderful honor. And I went into the reception, and all of my classmates from the class of 1962 were unmasked. They saw me, they got very enthusiastic, they gave me big hugs. So I felt I looked so out of place with a mask on. I literally took my mask off for about forty-five minutes, mingling with them and their family, went back, put my mask on. Five days later — bingo, I was infected.”

Don’t let your guard down.

Misheard

“Every pen is different.”

No, pet, in a PSA about animal adoption.

But it is true that every pen is different, at least if we’re speaking of fountain pens. Even instances of the same model may differ in their feel and flow.

One way to prevent these wishful mishearings would be to look at the screen during commercials. But that’s not me.

Related reading
All OCA misheard posts (Pinboard)

A joke in the traditional manner

What do dogs always insist on when they buy a car?

The punchline is in the comments.

More jokes in the traditional manner
The Autobahn : Did you hear about the cow coloratura? : Did you hear about the new insect hybrid? : Did you hear about the shape-shifting car? : Did you hear about the thieving produce clerk? : Elementary school : A Golden Retriever : How did Bela Lugosi know what to expect? : How did Samuel Clemens do all his long-distance traveling? : How do amoebas communicate? : How do ghosts hide their wrinkles? : How do worms get to the supermarket? : Of all the songs in the Great American Songbook, which is the favorite of pirates? : What did the doctor tell his forgetful patient to do? : What did the plumber do when embarrassed? : What happens when a senior citizen visits a podiatrist? : What is the favorite toy of philosophers’ children? : What’s the name of the Illinois town where dentists want to live? : What’s the worst thing about owning nine houses? : What was the shepherd doing in the garden? : Where do amoebas golf? : Where does Paul Drake keep his hot tips? : Which member of the orchestra was best at handling money? : Who’s the lead administrator in a school of fish? : Why are supervillains good at staying warm in the winter? : Why did the doctor spend his time helping injured squirrels? : Why did Oliver Hardy attempt a solo career in movies? : Why did the ophthalmologist and his wife split up? : Why does Marie Kondo never win at poker? : Why is the Fonz so cool? : Why sharpen your pencil to write a Dad joke? : Why was Santa Claus wandering the East Side of Manhattan?

[“In the traditional manner”: by or à la my dad. He gets credit for the Autobahn, the elementary school, the Golden Retriever, Bela Lugosi, Samuel Clemens, the doctor, the plumber, the senior citizen, Oliver Hardy, and the ophthalmologist. Elaine gets credit for the Illinois town. Ben gets credit for the supervillains in winter. My dad was making such jokes long before anyone called them dad jokes.]

Undone by an archivist

Debra Steidel Wall, Acting Archivist of the United States: that’s the signature on a May 10, 2022 letter to one of the defeated former president’s lawyers, letting him know that the National Archives and Records Administration would be turning materials over to the FBI.

There’s something sweet and fitting about the prospect of a man with no regard for history and no regard for the written word (save for its monetary value) being undone by an archivist. If the arc of the moral universe isn’t exactly bending toward justice, it might at least be bending toward poetic justice.

“Home”

I cringe a little and laugh a little every time I hear a news outlet refer to Mar-a-Lago as the defeated former president’s “home.”

House of course won’t do. But how about property ? Or residence ? Granted, home fits better in headlines. But there’s something ludicrous about calling a resort that houses (no pun intended) a private club a home.

Leaving a Ph.D. program

Here’s an anonymous piece in The Chronicle of Higher Education, “Why I’m Planning to Leave My Ph.D. Program.” The subtitle explains it all: “My family can’t live on $17,000 a year.” An excerpt:

Over four years in my English Ph.D. program, I’ve taught 132 students as the instructor of record, a total of 396 credit hours, and so, at my college’s stated tuition rates, helped it bring in something on the order of $575,000. While those funds aren’t entirely profit, the minimal overhead of my class means I’ve more than paid my way. In addition, I’ve served as a research assistant and worked in the writing center. In exchange, my institution paid me a stipend averaging $17,000 per year.

The writer quotes from Ulysses at the end of his essay, likening his contemplation of his young daughter’s future to Stephen Dedalus’s contemplation of his sister Dilly’s sad prospects. More bitterly, I think of repurposing Stephen’s famous observation about Ireland in A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man : Academia is the old sow that eats her farrow.

For me the saddest thing about the Chronicle piece is that the writer never considers what might follow the completion of his degree. One cautionary tale along those lines: William Deresiewicz’s account of why he left academia.

Where’s Mary?

From Axios: “Mary Miller missing from IL GOP messaging.” She was missing from a Republican Day rally at the Illinois State Fair:

When reporters repeatedly asked IL GOP chair Don Tracy about her absence at the rally, he responded, “I don’t know where Mary Miller is.”

Given Miller’s Adolf Hitler moment and her celebration of “white life,” it may be that those in charge thought it would be safer not to have her present. Or perhaps she chose not to show up because she might have to answer a question from a news outlet. She doesn’t do that. (She refuses. Sometimes she hides.) Nor does she answer letters from at least some of her constituents. I’ve written four, the first of which had no response but put me on her newsletter list. (They must have had an e-mail address for me from her predecessor, John Shimkus.) I immediately unsubscribed. The other three letters had no response.

Regular readers of OCA will know that Mary Miller is “my” representative in Congress.

Related reading
All OCA Mary Miller posts (Pinboard)

Only Murders

I called it. I didn’t have the details, only a now-validated hunch. How about you?

The final episode of the second season of Only Murders in the Building is extremely good. It helps make up for the meta jokes and time-killing schtick that run through the season. A third season is in the works.

[Please note: Comments with spoilers will not appear on this post.]

“Trumpery insanity”

A startling phrase in the “Oxen of the Sun” episode of James Joyce’s Ulysses: “Trumpery insanity.” It applies to a man in a mackintosh, a “seedy cuss,” “once a prosperous cit,” who “thought he had a deposit of lead in his penis.” The phrase, alas, is not political prophecy, and it’s not even of Joyce’s invention. Eric Partridge’s Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English (1970) to the rescue. Its definition:

a c.p [catch-phrase] directed at the frequency of this verdict in cases of suicide : ca. 1880–1900.

Partridge cites Heinrich Baumann’s Londonismen (1887).

Here’s a condensed presentation of the Oxford English Dictionary meanings for trumpery. As a noun:

1. Deceit, fraud, imposture, trickery. Obsolete.

2. “Something of less value than it seems”; hence, “something of no value; trifles” (Johnson); worthless stuff, trash, rubbish. (Usually collective singular; also, now rarely, plural.)
    a. Applied to material objects.
    b. Applied to abstract things, as beliefs, practices, discourse, writing, etc.: Nonsense, “rubbish.”
    c. Applied contemptuously to religious practices, ceremonies, ornaments, etc. regarded as idle or superstitious. (Cf. trinket.) Now rare or merged in general sense.
    d. Showy but unsubstantial apparel; worthless finery.
    e. Horticulture. Weeds or refuse, such as hinder the growth of valuable plants. Obsolete exc. dialect.
    f. Applied to a person, esp. a woman: cf. trash ? Obsolete exc. dialect.

As an adjective:

Of little or no value; trifling, paltry, insignificant; worthless, rubbishy, trashy.

There’s much more that could be said, and has been said, about the man in the mac. All I want to do here is call attention to a remarkable phrase.

[If you’re in emotional distress or suicidal crisis, ask for help. Google has a global list of resources.]