Friday, September 23, 2022

How to have a root canal

1. Sit down. Lie back.

2. Wince slightly. Wince again. (Injections.) Await further developments.

3. Listen for recognizable sounds on satellite radio. “Smokestack Lightnin’”! (But not by Howlin’ Wolf.) “Ticket to Ride.”

4. Listen to the drill. Wince slightly and raise your left hand, as instructed, when the drilling becomes painful. It’s gonna have to be a root canal.

5. Enjoy anesthetic applied directly to tooth.

6. Listen to different drills, with different pitches.

7. Feel your mouth crowd with a clamp, a latex shield, a dental dam, and a bite block.

8. Listen to different drills, with different pitches.

9. Realize that the strange-sounding electronica is a mix of satellite radio and the cleaning or drilling one room over.

10. Feel your mouth crowd with X-ray film. Is the bite block also still in there? Who knows. (The dentist knows.) Hold tongs holding film when requested. Surrender tongs when requested.

11. Different drills, different pitches.

12. Wonder about the tiny objects that resemble festive toothpicks. (They’re made of paper, to absorb blood.)

13. Notice the tiny strands of glue headed for your mouth.

14. Continue to lie back.

15. Coronation. (Temporary.)

16. Thank the dentist and dental assistant for their work.

17. Chew on the other side for three weeks while awaiting permanent coronation.

[I was out in under an hour. As the dentist said, he’s been doing this for twenty-two years. And Elaine walked over to drive me home — what a partner.]

comments: 7

Fresca said...

Oh, always fun.

I would add, Breathe the nitrous oxide.
I always refused it because it costs extra (but not that much, like $30)
until I had a massive tooth pulled and they warned me it would take a long time (two hours) and might sound disturbing.
With nitrous oxide, I was not disturbed

Michael Leddy said...

I wasn’t offered that — just the local stuff.

Disturbing sounds? Yikes!

Fresca said...

Cracks and crunches inside your head—distressing!

Daughter Number Three said...

Coronation! haha.

Michael Leddy said...

When that came to me, I couldn’t resist.

Joe DiBiase said...

Step 0.5 - Schedule the appointment within a few days of the bivalent COVID booster and this year’s flu vaccine.

Michael Leddy said...

Ha! I forgot about that. A week to remember, or forget. : )