Domestic comedy

[The subject was one of Beverly Cleary’s characters.]

“He seems to have . . .”

[And then in unison.]

“. . . a very high opinion of himself!”

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Domestic comedy

“I think a sandwich tastes better cut on the diagonal.”

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Domestic comedy

[Describing an e-mail.]

“It was written in the passive-aggressive voice.”

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Domestic comedy

“Me, you know what I’m like when it gets cold, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do.”

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[Yesterday: spring. This morning: 29°.]

Domestic comedy

“Now that it’s warmer, it feels colder.”

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Domestic comedy

[In light of current events.]

“That would be a nice thing to do — we can escape to the Gilmore Girls city.”

“Town.”

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[Best Stars Hollow surprises so far: hearing The Free Design’s “I Found Love” and seeing Repetition Pears on the wall of the bakery. We’re hearing and seeing everything for the first time.]

Domestic comedy

[While starting up the iPad.]

“Let me ask Picture Picture.”

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[For anyone who’s puzzled.]

Domestic comedy

“Too bad we don’t have the Container Store.”

“Our town isn’t big enough to hold one.”

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[But we know, too, that more things in which to store things is not a solution.]

Domestic comedy

“Isn’t that pretty?”

[Rolls eyes for comedic effect .] “Beautiful. Put it on Pinterest.”

“I found it on Pinterest.”

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Domestic comedy

[Talking about roads not taken.]

“That program? It would have been like galley slaves, but with grading instead of oars.”

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[I finally got it right, or wrong: I thought I’d said “freshman papers” and “oars,” or “grading” and “rowing.” But no, it was “grading” and “oars,” not parallel, I know.]

Domestic comedy

[While watching 90 Day Fiancé. It was very late.]

“It’s like Jerry Springer.”

“In houses.”

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Domestic comedy

"I tell you, that ad really worked."

"What ad?"

"The artesian cracker ad."

"Artisanal cracker ad." [Self-correcting pause.] "Artisan."

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Domestic comedy

“If we had a dog, and if we put our mailbox down by the front step, then the dog could get the mail for us.”

“Those are two pretty big if s.”

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Domestic comedy

“I have to re-remember where the notes are.”

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Domestic comedy

“It’s a ‘known fact,’ as you would say.”

“Don’t turn my words against me!”

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Domestic comedy

“I would have asked you, had I said something.”

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[It was very late.]

Domestic comedy

“Where’d I put it?”

“What’re you looking for?”

“My mind — I think I’ve lost it.”

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Domestic comedy

[Singing, earlier this week.]

“Autumn in New York, why does it seem so expensive?”

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Domestic comedy

[Two sleepy people, waking up at the end of Havana Widows on TCM.]

“I didn’t understand that at all.”

“There was something about Cuba in it.”

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Domestic comedy

“I can’t believe you walked past that multi-tool display.”

“Where?! WHERE?!”

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[Not really multi-tools, after all. Knives and flashlights. With this one, it’s probably easy to figure out who said what.]