“You should give up now”

[Mark Trail, January 5, 2015.]

Cherry Trail’s faith in her husband Mark is indefatigable.¹ Mark and Cherry have been fishing on the boat Swan with Justin Holland, owner of Riverway Chemical. Mark has fallen into the water after being punched by a pony-tailed henchman of the evil Mitchum.² Mitchum is Holland’s partner in Riverway Chemical. Mitchum and two henchmen have seized the Swan, planning to “destroy” the boat, killing Holland and the Trails, whose deaths would then be blamed on an “eco-terrorist.”³ Mitchum has been courteous enough to explain everything while on board.

After falling into the water, Mark swims to shore to “get help.” But — dang it — he loses his phone in the water. Which raises two questions: 1. How could Mark’s phone work after being submerged in water? 2. If it can so work, why must Mark swim to shore before calling? Why not float and dial?

Oh, and 3. Why didn’t Mark try to climb back on board to save his wife?

Today’s strip ends with Cherry giving Mitchum a powerful slap. But I like this first panel better. It is the prelude to a slap. I think of it as a matter of Mrs. Trail breaking the fourth wall and speaking to all those who are reading her strip for the laughs.

¹ Though no one in the strip would use that word.

² It’s just “Mitchum.” [Insert anti-perspirant joke here.]

² Don’t ask.

Related reading
All OCA Mark Trail posts (Pinboard)

Liverwurst: “For health, for strength — for eating fun”

[Life, May 20, 1940. Click for a larger view and the details of that recipe.]

The key word, here as elsewhere, is fun:

Kids love and need this healthful treat;
    Kids should have lots of it to eat.
Serve Liver Sausage to each one
    For health, for strength — for eating fun.

And: “It’s all food, and a smile wide.”

Furthermore: “You eat for health — and have fun too.”

In conclusion, liverwurst is fun. Get thee to the meat man.

Willa Cather, snoot

From a 1934 letter to Egbert Samuel Oliver, the twenty-ninth professor who wrote to Willa Cather on the subject of teaching creative writing in college. Cather referred to it as “‘Creative Writing,’” and she called the attempt to teach it “sheer nonsense”:

I do wish that colleges taught people to write passably clear and correct English, however. More than half of the twenty-eight professors who have written to me within the last few months were quite unable to use “which” and “that” and “would” and “should” correctly — at least, they did not honor me by using them correctly in their letters of request. They made many other errors of the same sort, which a well-trained high school student avoids.

The Selected Letters of Willa Cather, ed. Andrew Jewell and Janis Stout (New York: Knopf, 2013).

I wonder if Cather kept a copy of Fowler’s Modern English Usage on her desk. That and which: sounds like a Fowlerite to me.

Related reading
Bryan Garner glosses snoot

Lament for liverwurst

Liverwurst is no longer available from our friendly neighborhood multinational retailer. It disappeared from the deli a long time ago. And now it has disappeared from the meat aisle. I buy the stuff only two or three times a year, so I have no right to complain. But I can lament.

Liverwurst is a vanishing foodstuff. Yet once upon a time, it was the very definition of fun. “Once I lived the life of a millionaire,” &c.

Liverwurst (prepackaged) is still available from the local supermarket, for now.

[The quoted words? Listen.]

Stanley Neufeld (d. 2014)

Stanley Neufeld worked as an assistant director or second-unit director for 113 of the 138 episodes of Naked City. He also worked on several Oscar-winning films. The Hollywood Reporter has an obituary. The Directors Guild of America has an interview.

Related reading
All OCA Naked City posts (Pinboard)

Mayberry and abstraction

From The Andy Griffith Show episode “The Wedding,” March 4, 1968. Howard Sprague speaking:

“You see, Goober, abstract paintings are not representational.”

Yes, it’s the episode in which Howard creates a swinging bachelor pad. You can watch here. Joseph Bonaduce, the episode’s writer, deserves great credit for this bit of weirdness.

Related posts
Mayberry and kinship networks
Opie Taylor, Mongol user

Mayberry and kinship networks

From The Andy Griffith Show episode “A Date for Gomer,” November 25, 1963. Opie asks a question:

“Is this the first time you’ve been out with a girl, Gomer?“

“Do cousins count?”

You can watch here. Everett Greenbaum and James Fritzell wrote this episode. The censors must have been asleep at the blue pencil.

Related posts
Mayberry and abstraction
Opie Taylor, Mongol user

Recently updated

Mongol 2 3/8 Sean at Contrapuntalism tracks down the origin of Eberhard Faber’s Diamond Star emblem.

Recently updated

“Think middle school report” Eyes roll everywhere as heads roll at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

Thanks, Sara.

2015 calendar

Since December 2009 I’ve been making a dowdy-looking calendar for the new year. I’ve made these calendars in what I am guessing must be a primitive way, using tables in the Mac app Pages, three months per page, in licorice (black) and cayenne (dark red). Each year I’ve gotten a bit better at bringing off a glitch-free production.

If you’d like a 2015 calendar for yourself or for a loved one, or even for a random acquaintance, it’s available as a PDF from this link. Paper not included. Staples and punched hole also not included. Supplies may be limited. Order today!

And if anyone would like a Dropbox referral code, here’s mine. More Dropbox for you, more Dropbox for me. Like the calendar — free.