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Nick Demaio and the Eldorado Now with a color photograph of the Bronx bar and the Third Avenue El.

How to improve writing (no. 107)

From a New York Times obituary for William Greenberg Jr., baker:

Mr. Greenberg, an affable redhead at 6 feet 4 inches tall who was raised in the Five Towns area of Long Island, opened his first bakery in Manhattan in 1946, in a narrow storefront on East 95th Street, near Second Avenue, with $3,000 — poker winnings from games he played in the Army. It turned out that Mr. Greenberg was as skilled with cards as he was with a piping gun.

The logic of chronology is off here. To fix it:

It turned out that Mr. Greenberg was as skilled with a piping gun as he was with cards.

That’s the kind of thing that the Times once employed lots of copy editors to fix.

I think there are far too many facts crammed into the first sentence — an unfortunate tendency in obituary writing. (See How to improve writing (no. 45).) Is mentioning Mr. Greenberg’s red hair and his height meant to entice the reader to keep going? Puh-leeze.

Related reading
All OCA How to improve writing posts (Pinboard)

[This post is no. 107 in a series dedicated to improving stray bits of public prose.]

Today’s Saturday Stumper

Today’s Newsday  Saturday Stumper, by Steve Mossberg, is a tough one. 16-A, four letters, “Done quickly?” No, not at all, in large part because of 16-A. (No spoilers: I explain in the comments.)

Some clue-and-answer pairs of note:

5-D, three letters, “Elvis played it between tour stops.”Suprising, not surprising.

13-D, nine letters, “Question before the cameras.” Fun.

17-A, ten letters, “Going over everything.” I kept thinking the answer must be a participle.

19-A, four letters, “Bug out.” I didn’t know it, so I hereby deem it arcane.

26-D, ten letters, “Comparatively slick.” C'mon man. This is pretty ridic.

33-A, fifteen letters, “Star Trek intro claim to fame.” My starting point. A giveaway, I think.

39-A, seven letters, “Party central of a sort.” Ugh.

52-D, three letters, “Some PJs.” Seems ridiculously arbitrary. “Some almost anything” would work as well.

55-A, ten letters, “Rolls in it.” I wanted LUXURIATES.

My favorite in this puzzle: 30-A, four letters, “Slimmed-down food department.” Now that’s one clever clue.

No spoilers; the answers are in the comments. But if you know what Elvis played, you might agree that everyone should play.

Prisons

“Holding onto anger would really just be trading one prison for another”: Lamar Johnson, wrongfully convicted of murder, just released from prison after twenty-eight years, speaking on the PBS NewsHour tonight.

“Who’s Afraid of Black History?”

In The New York Times, Henry Louis Gates Jr. writes about Mildred Lewis Rutherford, Ron DeSantis, and the teaching (or policing) of history:

Is it fair to see Governor DeSantis’s attempts to police the contents of the College Board’s AP curriculum in African American studies in classrooms in Florida solely as little more than a contemporary version of Mildred Rutherford’s Lost Cause textbook campaign? No. But the governor would do well to consider the company that he is keeping. And let’s just say that he, no expert in African American history, seems to be gleefully embarked on an effort to censor scholarship about the complexities of the Black past with a determination reminiscent of Rutherford’s. While most certainly not embracing her cause, Mr. DeSantis is complicitous in perpetuating her agenda.

As the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. so aptly put it, “No society can fully repress an ugly past when the ravages persist into the present.” Addressing these “ravages,” and finding solutions to them — a process that can and should begin in the classroom — can only proceed with open discussions and debate across the ideological spectrum, a process in which Black thinkers themselves have been engaged since the earliest years of our Republic.

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Games and books

No classes today, so the university’s digital-whatever division is inviting students to spend the three-day weekend playing esports, the activities formerly known as video games. Because really, what else would a college student have to do with their time?

But at least we’ve yet to dismantle our library.

“A Pantomime Pen Talk”

[Popular Electricity Magazine, January 1912. Click for a larger view.]

See also this stationery-store-window automaton.

EXchange names on screen

Prizefighter Jimmy Dolan (Douglas Fairbanks Jr.) consults a telephone directory. There’s always one around when you need one, big enough to fill the screen.

[The Life of Jimmy Dolan (dir. Archie Mayo, 1933). Click for a larger view.]

A spot check of a 1940 Manhattan directory suggests that the page on the screen has some basis in reality. Look, there’s Mr. Mamakos:


More telephone EXchange names on screen
Act of Violence : The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse : Armored Car Robbery : Baby Face : Black Angel : Black Widow : Blast of Silence : The Blue Dahlia : Blue Gardenia : Boardwalk Empire : Born Yesterday : The Brasher Doubloon : The Brothers Rico : The Case Against Brooklyn : Chinatown : Craig’s Wife : Danger Zone : The Dark Corner : The Dark Corner (again) : Dark Passage : Deception : Deux hommes dans Manhattan : Dial Red 0 : Dick Tracy’s Deception : Down Three Dark Streets : Dream House : East Side, West Side : Escape in the Fog : Fallen Angel : Framed : Hollywood Story : Kiss of Death : The Little Giant : Loophole : The Man Who Cheated Himself : Mr. District Attorney : Modern Marvels : Murder by Contract : Murder, My Sweet : My Week with Marilyn : Naked City (1) : Naked City (2) : Naked City (3) : Naked City (4) : Naked City (5) : Naked City (6) : Naked City (7) : Naked City (8) : Naked City (9) : Nightfall : Nightmare Alley : Nocturne : Old Acquaintance : Out of the Past : Perry Mason : Pitfall : The Public Enemy : Railroaded! : Red Light : She Played with Fire : Shortcut to Hell : Side Street : The Slender Thread : Slightly Scarlet : Stage Fright : Sweet Smell of Success (1) : Sweet Smell of Success (2) : Tension : This Gun for Hire : Till the End of Time : This Gun for Hire : The Unfaithful : Vice Squad : Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

Separated at birth

Donald Wolfit as General Auguste Mercier in Edge of Darkness (dir. Lewis Milestone, 1943) and Christopher Guest as Corky St. Clair in Waiting for Guffman (dir. Guest, 1996).

Also separated at birth
Claude Akins and Simon Oakland : Ernest Angley and Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán : Nicholson Baker and Lawrence Ferlinghetti : William Barr and Edward Chapman : Bérénice Bejo and Paula Beer : Ted Berrigan and C. Everett Koop : David Bowie and Karl Held : Victor Buono and Dan Seymour : Ernie Bushmiller and Red Rodney : John Davis Chandler and Steve Buscemi : Ray Collins and Mississippi John Hurt : Broderick Crawford and Vladimir Nabokov : Ted Cruz and Joe McCarthy : Benedict Cumberbatch and Michael Gough : Henry Daniell and Anthony Wiener : Jacques Derrida, Peter Falk, and William Hopper : Adam Driver and Henri Gaudier-Brzeska : Bonita Granville and Cyndi Lauper : Charles Grassley and Abraham Jebediah Simpson II : Elaine Hansen (of Davey and Goliath) and Blanche Lincoln : Barbara Hale and Vivien Leigh : Pat Harrington Jr. and Marcel Herrand : Harriet Sansom Harris and Phoebe Nicholls : Steven Isserlis and Pat Metheny : Colonel Wilhelm Klink and Rudy Giuliani : Ton Koopman and Oliver Sacks : Steve Lacy and Myron McCormick : Don Lake and Andrew Tombes : Markku Luolajan-Mikkola and John Malkovich : William H. Macy and Michael A. Monahan : Fredric March and Tobey Maguire : Chico Marx and Robert Walden : Elisabeth Moss and Alexis Smith : Jean Renoir and Steve Wozniak : Molly Ringwald and Victoria Zinny : Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Gene Wilder

“Dan Duryea is my executive producer!!”

“If only real life were as well-lit as a good film noir!”: today’s Zippy goes to the movies.

Related reading
All OCA Zippy posts (Pinboard)