Talking Points Memo makes it way too easy:
In your opinion, are Republican candidates in midterm elections who have received former President Trump’s endorsement more likely or less likely to win their primary races than Republican candidates who did not?Richard Lanham’s paramedic method for revising prose can work wonders with this question. Lanham details the method in his Revising Prose (2007). A page from the Purdue Online Writing Lab summarizes it. What the paramedic method might help a writer notice in TPM’s question: the slow windup (“in your opinion,” not needed when the question is prefaced by the header “What do you think?”), the ungainly repetition of the preposition in, the use of a form of to be (are ) as the main verb, the lack of agency (who does what?). Better:
☐ More likely
☐ Less likely
☐ Just as likely
☐ I’m not sure
☐ Other / No opinion
Will Donald Trump’s endorsement help or hurt a Republican candidate in a midterm primary race?From thirty-two words to fifteen. I’ve changed the answers to fit the new question and have removed the mysterious “Other / No opinion.”
☐ Help
☐ Hurt
☐ Neither
☐ Undecided
I have no idea whether Trump**’s endorsement will help or hurt Mary (“Hitler was right on one thing”) Miller.
Related posts
All OCA “How to improve writing” posts (Pinboard)
[I’m keen on Revising Prose, hugely helpful for teaching writing but ridiculously expensive. The publisher, Pearson, does itself no favor by setting a high price ($66.65!) for a cheaply made, poorly designed, 166-page paperback. Why Trump** ? Two asterisks for two impeachments. This post is no. 99 in a series dedicated to improving stray bits of public prose.]