Pete Buttigieg on being gay and being married

Pete Buttigieg, mayor of South Bend, Indiana, addressing the LGBTQ Victory Fund brunch in Washington, D.C., this past Sunday:

“When I was younger, I would have done anything to not be gay. When I began to halfway realize what it meant that I felt the way I did about people I saw in the hallway at school or the dining hall in college, it launched in me something I can only describe as a kind of war. And if that war had been settled on the terms that I would have wished for when I was fifteen, or twenty, or, frankly, even twenty-five, I would not be standing here. If you had offered me a pill to make me straight, I would’ve swallowed it before you had time to give me a sip of water. It is a hard thing to think about now. It’s hard to face the truth that there were times in my life when, if you had shown me exactly what it was inside me that made me gay, I would have cut it out with a knife.

“And the reason it’s so awful to think about isn’t just the knowledge that so many young people struggling to come to terms with their sexuality or their gender identity do just that — they harm themselves, figuratively or literally. But the real reason that it’s so hard to think about is that if I had had the chance to do that, I would never have found my way to Chasten [Chasten Glezman, Buttigieg’s husband]. That the best thing in my life, my marriage, might not have happened at all. My marriage, this thing I can’t even describe without going into clichés, like talking about how my world went from black and white to color the moment we held hands toward the end of our first date. The thing that made it possible for me to get through the loss of my father this year, this man who lifted up not just me but dad and mom through those last awful days. How dark the thought that the man that I admire and care about and love sharing with the rest of the country, and even more importantly, can’t wait to share one day with raising children, might not have been part of my life at all. Thank God there was no pill. Thank God there was no knife.

”People talk about things like marriage equality as a moral issue. And it is certainly a moral issue as far as I’m concerned. It’s a moral issue because being married to Chasten has made me a better human being, because it has made me more compassionate, more understanding, more self-aware, and more decent. My marriage to Chasten has made me a better man. And yes, Mr. Vice President, it has moved me closer to God.

“And speaking only for myself, I can tell you that if me being gay was a choice, it was a choice that was made far, far above my pay grade. And that’s the thing that I wish the Mike Pences of the world would understand. That if you’ve got a problem with who I am, your problem is not with me. Your quarrel, sir, is with my creator.”

[My transcription and paragraphing. The passage I’ve transcribed begins at 8:35.]

Kirstjen Nielsen and Dante

What might Dante devise for Kirstjen Nielsen? I imagine an endless cage, one whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere. I think this punishment possesses the Dantean element of contrapasso, whereby punishment fits the crime, often by means of a bitter, mordant wit. Here the offender wanders alone, never able to find an exit, never able to find asylum.

But there’s no need for Dante: I would suggest that Nielsen has made a cage of her own. She will always be known for abetting the cruel xenophobe who employed her. No exit from that cage.

How to improve writing (no. 81)

Only a month ago Kirstjen Nielsen was insisting that cages for children are “sub-parts” of “facilities.” But now she’s out. The New York Times could have taken more care with this paragraph from an article reporting the departure of Kirstjen Nielsen from the Department of Homeland Security:

Mr. Trump enjoyed Ms. Nielsen's television appearances, administration aides said. But despite several stories about how much better her relationship with Mr. Trump was, Ms. Nielsen never learned how to manage him, people familiar with their discussions said. He often felt lectured to by Ms. Nielsen, the people familiar with the discussions said.

“Better” raises questions that the article doesn’t answer: better than what? better than when? There’s ungainly repetition: “people familiar with their discussions said,” “the people familiar with the discussions said.” And a horribly awkward passive verb: “He often felt lectured to by Ms. Nielsen.” Imagine speaking words to that effect: “I often feel lectured to by you.”

Better:

Mr. Trump enjoyed Ms. Nielsen's television appearances, administration aides said. But despite stories of an improved Trump–Nielsen relationship, people familiar with the relationship said that Ms. Nielsen never learned how to manage Mr. Trump, and that he often felt that she lectured him.

Even “breaking news,” as they call it, can wait another minute for writer(s) to get the sentences right. Three writers for this article.

*

April 8: Now there are four writers credited.


Related reading
All OCA “How to improve writing” posts (Pinboard)

[This post is no. 81 in a series, dedicated to improving stray bits of public prose.]

Domestic comedy

“Look, a boy weatherman!”

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All OCA domestic comedy posts (Pinboard)

Today’s Saturday Stumper

The work of “Garrett Estrada” and “Ernesto G. Prada” made me wonder if this week’s Newsday Saturday Stumper would reach some greater height of difficulty. No soap. Today’s puzzle, by Lester Ruff, was pretty simple stuff.

A few clues that I thought novel: 15-Across, nine letters, “Climbed all over.” 20-Across, six letters, “With integrity lost.” 41-Across, four letters, “An aerophone.” 38-Down, eight letters, “Trying inductions.” 50-Down, six letters, “Clears for the road.”

No spoilers: the answers are in the comments.

Hard copies

Peter Funt:

For more than a century, baseball fans in Chicago have saved ticket stubs to preserve memories, both fond and frustrating, of their beloved Cubbies. . . .

That’s over. This season the Cubs have joined more than a dozen other Major League teams in eliminating paper tickets in favor of digital versions, downloaded to apps and displayed on phones.

And so ticket stubs join theater playbills, picture postcards, handwritten letters and framed photos as fading forms of preserving our memories. It raises the question, Is our view of the past, of our own personal history, somehow different without hard copies?

Of course it is.

I’m down to one ticket stub, Brian Wilson performing SMiLE, Auditorium Theatre, Chicago, October 2, 2004. I have the dates from other stubs in a text file. But I keep every letter.

[Peter Funt: son of Allen.]

No ticket to happiness

The Chronicle of Higher Education reports that Jordan Peterson and Slavoj Zizek will engage in a public debate about whether capitalism or Marxism leads to happiness. Two remaining tickets, $1500 each. Neither one a ticket to happiness.

Or 1937?

[Click for a larger view.]

We took the car in for a software update and took a walk while we waited. Things began to feel fairly old and industrial. Before long it was 1951. Or 1937? I don’t know. I’m fairly certain though that this building is no longer in use.

Dunning-Kruger Montaigne

From Montaigne, “Of Presumption” (1580):

It is commonly said that good sense is the gift Nature has distributed most fairly among us, for there is no one who is unsatisfied with the share he has been allowed — and isn’t that reasonable enough? For whoever saw beyond this would be beyond his sight. I think my opinions are good and sound, but who does not think the same of his own?

Quoted in Ward Farnsworth’s The Practicing Stoic: A Philosophical User’s Manual (Boston: David R. Godine, 2018). Adapted from an unidentified public-domain translation.

Farnsworth’s gloss: “Our limited capacities prevent us from perceiving our limited capacities.”

Related reading
All OCA Dunning-Kruger posts (Pinboard)

“Mr. X and Mr. B”

Sam likes business college:


Alice Munro, “The Moon in the Orange Street Skating Rink.” In The Progress of Love (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1986).

Also from Alice Munro
“Rusted seams” : “That is what happens” : “Henry Ford?” : “A private queer feeling” : “A radiance behind it” : Opinions : At the Manor : “Noisy and shiny” : “The evening lunch”