Thursday, October 3, 2013

The worst sentences in Salinger so far

From David Shields and Shane Salerno’s Salinger, “the official book of the acclaimed documentary film.” These sentences, from Salerno, appear on page 244:

This narrative — Salinger’s only novel — is told in the first-person voice of Holden Caulfield. That voice is Salinger, direct and unfiltered by the artifice of third-person camouflage. It’s his life, his thoughts, his feelings, his rage, his big beautiful middle finger to the phonies of the world.

Ten years of agony to get it all down on paper.
Oh, the drama. This passage sounds to me like very bad student writing. And its misunderstanding of the ways in which fiction works — no matter what Salinger said about “being” Holden Caulfield — suggests a failure of imagination. Salinger knows more than his character, just as Twain knows more than Huck Finn, Joyce more than Stephen Dedalus. It’s called irony.

Related reading
The worst sentence in Salinger so far
All J. D. Salinger posts (Pinboard)

Domestic comedy

“Her voice is instantly recognizable, even without looking at the screen.”

“Whose voice?”

Related reading
All domestic comedy posts (Pinboard)

[Whose voice? Elizabeth Ashley’s.]

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Words I can live without

I could not have expressed it half so well.

Laurence Sterne, A Sentimental Journey
Through France and Italy (1768)
Two words I can live without, when they fall together: expressed that , where that introduces a subordinate clause. I am surprised to see that Garner’s Modern American Usage makes no mention of expressed that , an awkward construction that turns up again and again in the context of “school.” Try a Google search for the likely phrasing. Or consider these sentences from an imaginary board meeting:
Ms. Krabappel expressed that she has concerns about the textbook. Principal Skinner expressed that he caught Bart Simpson cheating.
In each sentence, said that would do the job. But for speakers and writers of educationese, expressed that has a clear advantage: more letters, more syllables. (Yes, Latinate v. Germanic.) Perhaps expressed also serves to invest whatever was said with a claim to sincerity and truth: she didn’t just say that she was concerned; she expressed that , &c.

One might express approval, bewilderment, concern, doubt, eagerness, fear, glee — in each case, an it, a plain old direct object, follows the verb, with the speaker or writer representing a feeling or point of view in words. The oddness of express that becomes more obvious when one uses it in the present tense:
Ms. Krabappel expresses that she has concerns about the textbook. Principal Skinner expresses that he caught Bart Simpson cheating.
Google search returns far fewer results for the present-tense construction. Hmm.

For say that to replace express that in the world of education would require a larger rethinking of what to value in speaking and writing. If it’s to be plainness and clarity, say that wins.

The evil twin of expressed that : It is felt that , which erases human agency. By whom? By whom?

More words I can live without
Bluesy , craft , &c.
Delve , -flecked , &c.
Pedagogy
That said
Three words never to use in a poem

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Dear House Republicans

Dear House Republicans:

A pox on you and all your ancestors.

Sincerely,

Me

[This curse courtesy of Edward L. Norton. As famously uttered in “The Bensonhurst Bomber,” The Honeymooners, September 8, 1956.]

Trail and Rhodes


[Mark Trail, October 1, 2013.]

Dusty Rhodes! I too am meeting this gentleman for the first time. Who will show up next? Lois Lane? Della Street? Hi Way?

Related reading
All Mark Trail posts (Pinboard)

Apropos of yesterday


[As seen in a parking lot. Photograph by Michael Leddy.]

Yes, apropos of yesterday.

Monday, September 30, 2013

E-mailing professors

The New York Times reports on college students’ reluctance to use their school e-mail accounts. Says University of Iowa student Brittney Carver,

“I never know what to say in the subject line and how to address the person. Is it mister or professor and comma and return, and do I have to capitalize and use full sentences? By the time I do all that I could have an answer by text if I could text them.”
But you can’t, at least not for the most part.

You can, however, read the guidelines that all the cool kids are reading: How to e-mail a professor. They will answer all your questions. By they I mean the guidelines. The cool kids are too busy to answer any questions.

Thanks to Matt Thomas’s Submitted for Your Perusal, which again and again points me to Times articles I would otherwise miss.

Henry’s Magic Song Restorer


[Henry, September, 2013. Click for a larger view.]

I know that Henry now appears in reruns. But just how old are these strips? Magic Song Restorer goes pretty far back. Here is a page with Charles Bremer’s beautiful photograph of a tin (bottom left). And here, from Katherine C. Grier’s Pets in America: A History (2006) are two pages from the 1930s publication How to Take Care of Your Canary:


[Click for a larger view.]

Grier writes that How to Take Care of Your Canary includes “An Imprisoned’s Bird’s Daily Prayer.” It begins:

“Oh Captor, consider that I am your little prisoner, give me my daily food, consisting of pure and wholesome rape and canary seed, and pray do not omit to give me a small separate dish of MAGIC SONG RESTORER and GENERAL HEALTH FOOD.”


Related reading
All Henry posts (Pinboard)

Snoopy ceramic tile


[Peanuts, September 30, 1966.]

Snoopy’s doghouse (or should that just be house?) has burned down. Lucy tells him that it is because he sinned: “That’s the way these things always work!” To which Snoopy replies, “BLEAH!” Yes, it’s like the Book of Job. Which makes Charlie Brown — God?

Tile is my reason for posting this panel. My father Jim (Leddy Ceramic Tile) did work in the houses of many well-known people — Julia Barr, Hank Jones, Debbi Morgan, Gene Shalit, McCoy Tyner are those who immediately come to mind — but he missed out on this house. He trusts though that the contractor used American Olean tile.

A handful of other Peanuts posts
Clothespins and milk bottles
Linus in the fall
“The Love Song of J. Alfred Brown”
Schroeder’s Beethoven

[The September 30, 1966 Peanuts ran this past Friday, September 27.]

Happy anniversary

Elaine and I were married twenty-nine years ago today. We looked like this, only taller and three-dimensional. It doesn’t seem possible that so much time has gone by.

I remember our first date, January 17, 1984: my glasses fogged up when I walked into the Boston Thai restaurant The King and I. They have been fogged up ever since. I am an exceedingly fortunate guy. Elaine will have to speak for herself.

Happy anniversary, Elaine.