How to improve writing (no. 131)

Our trash service has let us know that pickup will be a day later this week:

Thank you for being a valued waste management customer. We appreciate the opportunity to be your environmental service and solutions partner.

I’m afraid I’d be putting on airs if I were to think of myself as a waste-management customer, or if I were to think of the trash service as my environmental service and solutions partner.

Imagine a conversation with a new neighbor:

“Have a chosen an environmental service and solutions partner yet?”

“...”

Here’s what I think would be better:

Thank you for being a customer. We appreciate the opportunity to serve you.

The moral: consider your audience. The jargon of a business need not seep into communication with a customer.

Related reading
All OCA How to improve writing posts

[This post is no. 131 in a series dedicated to improving stray bits of professional public prose.]