The National Dean's List

Two letters came in the mail today from an outfit calling itself The National Dean's List. Putting one and one together allows me to conclude that being on this dean's list is a deeply dubious honor.

The first letter is for me:



It would be nice to think that my college achievements are wowing this organization, almost thirty years after I graduated. But something else is going on. The second letter begins:



There is no one at our house named "Leddy Fine"; that name is simply my last name and my wife Elaine's last name (yes, I kept my name when we married). But we have a magazine subscription for "Leddy Fine" (the result of a clerical error), from a collegiate subscription service, one of those companies offering discounts for students and faculty. We have another subscription, in my name, from the same service. "Leddy Fine," like "Michael Leddy," is simply a name from a mailing list.

The National Dean's List thus seems to be little more than spam-marketing with a letterhead. There's a catch of course: to see your name in print, you need to buy a copy of the book ($69.95, or $84.95 "with my name in gold on the cover").

If I were a genuine high-achieving college student, I might not have reason to doubt the claims on the NDL website. For instance:

Being selected for nomination to The National Dean's List is an honor bestowed on outstanding college students by the professors, coaches and teachers who know their work best.

Every year, professors, deans and leaders of civic and community service organizations affiliated with post secondary institutions are invited to nominate outstanding students who have achieved "Dean's List" honors, or comparable academic achievement, have a "B+" average or are in the upper 10% of their classes.

But I'm no longer a high-achieving college student, and "Leddy Fine" never even shows up for classes, so I can only conclude that the National Dean's List is about as selective as a telephone book.

Update, May 5, 2007: There's more on the National Dean's List in this post: The National Dean's List again.

Update, November 9, 2007: A reader has informed me that the National Dean's List is no more. From the company website:

Educational Communications, Inc. has ceased all operations, including discontinuation of its publications for Who's Who Among American High School Students, Who's Who Among America's Teachers, and The National Dean's List, as well as the Educational Communications Scholarship Foundation.

The Internet Archive shows that Educational Communications, Inc. — or at least its website — was still functioning as of August 2007. Some quick Google searching turns up no details on the company's demise.

I feel sorry for the clerical workers, printers, and bindery workers whose lives will be altered by the demise of Educational Communications, Inc. But I'll still say good riddance to this company. It's mail from outfits such as EC, Inc. that can lead a student to mistake, say, a letter of invitation from Phi Beta Kappa for yet another sham honor. And it's the Internet that allows anyone with an online connection to look around and ask questions. (Type "national dean's list" into Google and see what happens.)

Related reading
Phi Beta What? (Wall Street Journal)

Related posts
Is this honor society legitimate?
The National Dean's List again
The National Dean's List is dead

Overheard

In a parking lot, a discussion of condensed soups:

"I always take the straight-up noodle."

All "Overheard" posts (via Pinboard)

Euphemism

From Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day:

The Word of the Day for May 1 is:

euphemism \YOO-fuh-miz-um\ noun: the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant; also : the expression so substituted

Example sentence: Aunt Helen would never say that someone had "died"; she preferred to communicate the unpleasant news with euphemisms like "passed on."

Did you know? "Euphemism" derives from the Greek word "euphemos," which means "auspicious" or "sounding good." The first part of "euphemos" is the Greek prefix "eu-," meaning "well." The second part is "pheme," a Greek word for "speech" that is itself a derivative of the verb "phanai," meaning "to speak." Among the numerous linguistic cousins of "euphemism" on the "eu-" side of the family are "eulogy," "euphoria," and "euthanasia"; on the "phanai" side, its kin include "prophet" and "aphasia" ("loss of the power to understand words").

Merriam-Webster might have quoted George Orwell's "Politics and the English Language" (1946):

In our time, political speech and writing are largely the defense of the indefensible. Things like the continuance of British rule in India, the Russian purges and deportations, the dropping of the atom bombs on Japan, can indeed be defended, but only by arguments which are too brutal for most people to face, and which do not square with the professed aims of political parties. Thus political language has to consist largely of euphemism, question-begging and sheer cloudy vagueness. Defenseless villages are bombarded from the air, the inhabitants driven out into the countryside, the cattle machine-gunned, the huts set on fire with incendiary bullets: this is called pacification. Millions of peasants are robbed of their farms and sent trudging along the roads with no more than they can carry: this is called transfer of population or rectification of frontiers. People are imprisoned for years without trial, or shot in the back of the neck or sent to die of scurvy in Arctic lumber camps: this is called elimination of unreliable elements. Such phraseology is needed if one wants to name things without calling up mental pictures of them.

Orwell of course did not live to hear of extraordinary renditions and enhanced interrogation techniques.

Update, May 25, 2007: A reader of Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish reports that

"enhanced interrogation techniques" is a fairly decent English translation of the Gestapo euphemism "verschaerfte Vernehmung," which was the code word for torture in the Third Reich.

Trumpeter swans in the news

News from Des Moines:

Two trumpeter swans have a new home at Great Ape Trust of Iowa and after they've had a chance to settle in, they'll soon have new names, thanks to their bonobo neighbors. . . .

Naming of the swans will be decided by the family of bonobos living at Great Ape Trust. Once the bonobos have had an opportunity to observe the swans, the apes will select two names -- either of their choosing or from a recommended list. Dr. Karyl Swartz, resident scientist at The Trust, is coordinating the naming project with the bonobos.

"The bonobos are extremely sensitive to their environment and we feel it is important that they are informed of any changes to that environment," said Swartz. "From their home, the bonobos overlook the lake where the swans will live. By informing them of the arrival of the swans, talking to them about what the birds are like, and allowing them an opportunity to participate in the project through naming the birds, we are providing the bonobos with control over their environment."

Any news of trumpeter swans will catch the attention of a Van Dyke Parks fan, as one such swan appears in the lyrics of "Surf's Up":

The music hall -- A costly bow.
The music all is lost for now,
To a muted trumpeter swan.

Columnated ruins domino!

"Surf's Up" may be found on SMiLE (music by Brian Wilson, words by Van Dyke Parks).

DNR Releases Trumpeter Swans at Great Ape Trust, Bonobos to Name Them (Great Ape Trust)

Related post
Riparian

Bart Simpson and cultural studies

Newsweek reports that Bart Simpson bares all in the forthcoming Simpsons Movie. A professor of popular culture offers the following observation:

"That Bart is a cartoon character, and a defiant adolescent one at that, does make the cultural interest in his private parts more complex and intriguing," says Kim Blank, a professor of popular culture at the University of Victoria.

Bart is ten.

Homer's Big-Screen Odyssey (Newsweek)
Bart bares all in film (Saskatoon Star Phoenix)

Ben Webster and Teddy Wilson

A treasure via YouTube: Ben Webster and Teddy Wilson, "somewhere in Europe," playing "Old Folks" (Willard Robison - Dedette Lee Hill).

The film footage looks better in the first clip. The second clip (apparently from Spanish Public Television) has a brief introduction explaining the circumstances of this performance: before taking the bandstand, Webster was told of the death of his friend and fellow Ellingtonian, alto saxophonist Johnny Hodges. That would place this performance in May 1970.

"Old Folks"
"Old Folks" (with introduction)

Related post
On December 8

Found

I found the above item today, sticking out between a wall of my house and a waist-high shelving unit just inside the front door. Untattered, it would likely measure 13/16" x 15/16". My guess is that it was left atop the shelving unit (still a great place for leaving almost anything -- change, bills, keys, concert programs, sunglasses, junk mail -- you get the idea) and somehow got swept down into the fraction of an inch between shelf and wall. My other guess is that years of vibrations from footsteps and the front door finally helped bring this small item back into view. I think its reappearance must be recent: my family has lived in this house since 1991, and no one had ever noticed this bit of paper before.

Tearing out old walls, my dad the tileman sometimes found great bits of ephemera. The best: an old Chesterfield package, in perfect shape, minus cellophane, minus cigarettes.

The Chicago Daily News? Wikipedia describes it as an afternoon daily, published from 1876 to 1978.

It just occurred to me that "great bits of ephemera" might be considered redundant. To my mind, any bit of ephemera is great.

Invitation to a dance (On another bit of ephemera)

No job too small (More on Leddy Ceramic Tile)

Riparian

From Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day:

The Word of the Day for April 21 is:

riparian \ruh-PAIR-ee-un\ adjective: relating to or living or located on the bank of a natural watercourse (as a river) or sometimes of a lake or a tidewater

Example sentence: Residents of the riparian community learned to brace themselves for a flood whenever torrential rain was forecast.

Did you know? "Riparian" came to English from the same source that gave us "river" -- the Latin "riparius," a noun deriving from "ripa," meaning "bank" or "shore." First appearing in English in the 19th century, "riparian" refers to things that exist alongside a river (such as riparian wetlands, habitats, trees, etc.). Some river communities have laws called "riparian rights," referring to the rights of those owning land along a river to have access to the waterway. Note the distinction of this word from "littoral," which usually refers to things that occur along the shore of a sea or ocean.

Why is riparian making an appearance here? Because Van Dyke Parks (whose song-title I've borrowed for this blog's title) is the only person I've ever known to use the word (in a commencement address).

(Thanks, Van Dyke!)

"Because I have such a father"

''I walked through the streets today with my head held high because I have such a father."

Joe Librescu, older son of Liviu Librescu, aeronautics engineer and lecturer

Lecturer Killed Saving Students at Virginia Tech Buried in Israel (New York Times)

Kitty Carlisle Hart

It's really the end of an era. Kitty Carlisle Hart, actress, singer, arts advocate, has died:

Kitty Carlisle Hart, who began her career in the theater in a 1932 musical comedy revue on Broadway, acted in films and opera and was still singing on the stage, into her 10th decade, as recently as last fall, died Tuesday at her home in Manhattan. She was 96. The cause was heart failure, her daughter, Catherine Hart, said. Outgoing and energetic, Miss Carlisle became in her middle years a visible advocate of the arts, lobbying the New York State Legislature and the United States Congress for funding. For 20 years, first as a member and later as chairman of the New York Council on the Arts, she crisscrossed the state to support rural string quartets, small theater groups and inner-city dance troupes.

At another moment, she could be found performing on a cruise ship plying the Greek islands, as she was during her 90th year. Just last November, she sang George Gershwin’s "The Man I Love" at the annual gala fund-raiser for Jazz at Lincoln Center. That followed a series of engagements in New York and other cities celebrating her 96th birthday. Miss Carlisle, as she was know professionally, also became a favorite of the first television generation as a regular on the game shows To Tell the Truth and What’s My Line?

I remember Kitty Carlisle from A Night at the Opera, Radio Days, and those game shows. She was one of the people who seemed to be living on television when I was a boy, along with Steve Allen, Peggy Cass, Arlene Francis, Phyllis Newman, and Nipsey Russell, friendly presences every weekday after school.

Kitty Carlisle Hart Dies at 96 (New York Times)
Kitty Carlisle Hart (Official website)
Kitty Carlisle (Wikipedia)