I am a prisoner of Hallmark Movies and Mysteries

[A plucky young mom is about to be evicted, or fired, or something. ]

“But it’s Christmas Eve!”

Of course it’s Christmas Eve, you fool. But what were you expecting — a drop of human kindness? Forget it: you’re on the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries Channel. But all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well, in another ninety minutes or so.

I am a prisoner of Hallmark Movies and Mysteries, and I’m not proud of it. The blame though rests with my daughter Rachel: it was her enthusiasm that got me started. We both love the awfulness.

HMM: for those times when you don’t want to think very hard. Or at all.

[With apologies to Julian of Norwich.]