Saturday, December 21, 2013

Subject-verb disagreement in the New York Times

In Garrison Keillor’s review of Deborah Solomon’s Norman Rockwell biography:

It took him seven months to paint his “Four Freedoms” pictures — a Lincolnesque workingman standing up and speaking at a town meeting, a cluster of profiles of persons in prayer, a mother and father watching over two sleeping children, a family gathered around the Thanksgiving table — which appeared in The Post and drew sacks of fan mail and was used by the Treasury to sell war bonds.
Anyone can slip up in this way, yes. But such a slip shouldn’t get by the Times.

*

10:10 p.m.: The more I look at this sentence, the more I think about (1) the great distance between pictures and which, and (2) the awkward series appeared, drew, and was were used. (And I’m not sure that paintings should be drawing anything.) How about two sentences, with minor adjustments?
It took him seven months to paint his “Four Freedoms” for The Post — a Lincolnesque workingman standing up and speaking at a town meeting, a cluster of profiles of persons in prayer, a mother and father watching over two sleeping children, a family gathered around the Thanksgiving table. The paintings became wildly popular, and the Treasury used them to sell war bonds.
Or:
It took him seven months to paint his “Four Freedoms” for The Post — a Lincolnesque workingman standing up and speaking at a town meeting, a cluster of profiles of persons in prayer, a mother and father watching over two sleeping children, a family gathered around the Thanksgiving table. The paintings became so popular that the Treasury used them to sell war bonds.
Related reading
All How to improve writing posts (Pinboard)

[This post is no. 48 in a series, “How to improve writing,” dedicated to improving stray bits of public prose. I’ve added italics to the magazine title.]

comments: 2

Daughter Number Three said...

I wonder if an editor (or Keillor) changed the wording from a singular noun like "series" to the plural "pictures." Not an excuse, but maybe a reason. Your versions are definitely better.

Michael Leddy said...

Yes, that seems very plausible, especially because “pictures” sounds a little unsophisticated. “Series” sounds right.