Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Breakfast with the Food Network

[Plunges spoon into bowl. Lifts spoon to mouth. Removes spoon from mouth, chews, grunts.]

I gotta tell ya: it’s all in there. The creamy coldness of the Silk, the crunchiness of the Grape-Nuts, the tangy sweetness of the peaches, the way they all come together: this little puppy is one mega-flavor explosion.

[Chews, swallows.]

But I have an even bigger challenge coming up in just five hours. And they call it LUNCH.

[Plunges, lifts, removes spoon. Chews. Wipes chin. Cut to commercials.]

I recently developed a short-lived comedic habit of turning real-life meals into Food Network moments. I can’t stand the Food Network. But I do like Silk Soymilk, Grape-Nuts, peaches, and yuks.

comments: 4

Elaine said...

Couldn't a thing like that get a guy beat up?

Besides, I kinda like 'Iron Chef.'

Michael Leddy said...

Huh? I don’t follow.

I dislike the endless competitiveness (someone must lose), but more than that, I dislike the way the FN turns me into a spectator. Julia Child and Jacques Pépin make me want to cook. With the FN, I just sit there. (Or sat.)

Elaine said...

Oh, I meant your commentary.....esp over breakfast, when others might not yet have had coffee...

Chefs like Sakai and Morimoto were amazingly creative under a time constraint, and I enjoyed seeing their work. Not on the same level, I've done the 'Stone Soup' thing so many times when suddenly I needed to feed twice as many people as expected... so it's fun for me to see the action. There are a lot of half-hour shows that would fit your criterion, actually, but they come on at times that preclude my watching (and no doubt your viewing, as well.)

Michael Leddy said...

Oh, now I see. Bear in mind that this was a short-lived habit, with performances for a one-member audience (who laughed and egged me on to do more).