From a New York Times obituary for Margaret Keane, painter of big-eyed children:
Such rebukes had no effect on the popularity of Keane art. In 1964, Keane prints alone grossed $2 million. In 1965, a Life magazine article, “The Man Who Paints Those Big Eyes,” likened it to Howard Johnson’s ubiquitous restaurants.I noticed the problem while eating a bowl of Shredded Wheat: what’s it ? If the referent is art, it’s too far back. Better:
Such rebukes had no effect on the popularity of Keane art. In 1964, Keane prints alone grossed $2 million. In 1965, a Life magazine article, “The Man Who Paints Those Big Eyes,” likened Keane art to Howard Johnson’s ubiquitous restaurants.But now the repeating Keane is too much. How about:
Such rebukes had no effect on popular taste. In 1964, Keane prints alone grossed $2 million. In 1965, a Life magazine article, “The Man Who Paints Those Big Eyes,” likened Keane art to Howard Johnson’s ubiquitous restaurants.As the Times obituary makes clear, it was Margaret Keane, not her credit-taking husband Walter, who did the painting.
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[This post is no. 103 in a series dedicated to improving stray bits of public prose.]