How to improve writing (no. 137)

From a Washington Post article:

Then the Village People’s “Y.M.C.A.” begins to play. Trump pumps his fists and sways his hips, his feet planted in place, as supporters cheer, reach toward the stage and raise their phones to capture one of the most recognizable rituals in American politics.

Much better:

Then the Village People’s “Y.M.C.A.” begins to play. Trump pumps his fists and sways his hips, his feet planted in place, as supporters cheer, reach toward the stage and raise their phones to capture one of the most bizarre rituals in American politics.

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[This post is no. 137 in a series dedicated to improving stray bits of professional public prose.]