Thursday, January 2, 2014

Two hundred blog description lines

The first words of Van Dyke Parks’s song “Orange Crate Art” — “Orange crate art was a place to start” — long appeared on this blog as what Blogger calls a blog description line. In May 2010, I found myself unexpectedly caffeine-free and made a new line, keeping the quotation marks that had surrounded Van Dyke’s words. At some point I returned to being caffeinated, mildly so. And I kept changing the line (and saving to a text file), always choosing some word or words or element of punctuation from a post then on the front page. These lines now look like bits of found language, detached from contexts, amusing, banal, evocative, opaque. I like that. Here are the first two hundred:

“Orange crate art was a place to start”
“Now caffeine-free”
“Half the pressure, twice the speed”
“It's my duty to remember”
“An informal atmosphere prevails”
“May vary daily”
“Brooklyn is not expanding”
“Checklists prevnt mistakes”
“Eleventyteen human heartstrings”
“Do your own homework”
“Closer to being Aunt Bee’s age”
“Do externals tend to distract you?”
“Mints, whiskey, a company guitar”
“Hey, whaddaya know? Keats”
“Anacin and tooth powder”
“The museum is imaginary”
“Please keep out ’til 1974”
“Please quote”
“A metaphor for analogy”
“Way too much time studying”
“Hellaciously unfun”
“But this is Monday”
“As omnipresent as phone booths”
“Simply friendly areas”
“Vertical blending”
“Nooks and crannies”
“A relatively small part of the whole”
“You’re gonna be late for bowling”
“Way before my time”
“Schooldays, schooldays, schooldays”
“I’d walk a mile for a Blackwing”
“It’s — well, exhilarating”
“No spoilers here”
“ Have fun”
“We have regional dialects”
“Hello, central”
“Through the customary horn”
“Perfectly grammatical”
“Just some of the props”
“It has a lot of cooking”
“Bienvenidos de nuevo, señores”
“Refining, blending, assembling”
“This is fun”
“Always sauce, never gravy”
“Chin up, Pluto!”
“Darn it all”
“How are you. I am all o.k.”
“Thin drawers in snowy weather”
“Viewer discretion is always advised”
“The Continental Paper Grading Co.”
“Almost certainly apocryphal”
“Waiting for my tag cloud”
“Capital letters”
“The only known copy”
“New structures all around”
“Out of red”
“There is one for every purpose”
“See how nice?”
“Definitely, emphatically, yes”
“Contains soybean, wheat”
“Uses no batteries”
“And how”
“15 times faster”
“Makes sense, really”
“Neatly folded”
“Pixels gone wrong”
“Feed your head”
“Served on a classic bun”
“Full of pep”
“Insert imprecations here”
“Er, no, not yet”
“Sheer racket”
“Special offers”
“Fittingly modest”
“Only more so”
“Brief intervals of concentration”
“Not exhaustive”
“Irresistible, homemade flavor”
“Vague and sophisticated”
“Not for the fainthearted”
“It’s a gathering camp”
“Thanks. Thanks!”
“Fake handwriting”
“Completely unobjectionable”
“Unduly so”
“Ain’t Maxwell House all right!”
“As is”
“With flurries”
“A mirror here and there”
“Stalwart worker”
“A well-stocked kitchen”
“Every fret works”
“Must know what he's talking about”
“Locks in flavor”
“That’ll fool ’em”
“Many things at once”
“Woke up this morning”
“Bright blue weather”
“Brown October”
“Missing the obivous”
“I go to time out for cheating. I am the 99%.”
“With oranges”
“Notary sojac”
“Remote encoding center”
“Are we there yet?”
“Another fine vaudevillian”
“Insignificant little speck on the map”
“Recreational reading”
“Set aside”
“Like living in an apartment building”
“Beauty and function and value”
“Check your local listings”
“Fine-grained choices”
“Figurative and literal”
“Activity of thought”
“The picky one”
“Sentences? Paragraphs?”
“Oh, wirra, wirra, wirra”
“Getting stuff done”
“You might like it”
“Eh wot?”
“Is anything missing?”
“Sufficiently out of the mainstream”
“Upgrade now”
“Bird thou never wert”
“It’s the extra-dry treat”
“Random miscellaneous company”
“Still working”
“Open to public”
“Like they say”
“Highly mistaken”
“Motuweth frisas”
“‘Hep’ or ‘with it’”
“Words and phraseology”
“All that”
“No embarrassing ink spills”
“Not word-processing”
“Seems to make sense”
“Repeat as necessary”
“To out of up for”
“Not a trace of bitterness”
“Pocket squirrel: +1”
“Things ⁓ what they used to be”
“Write things down”
“Void where prohibited”
“No purchase necessary”
“Fugiad diughiuwr”
“Where things are”
“Noun phrase”
“Real time”
“The weather”
“Very important things”
“Oooh, cutdown”
“Distractions and such”
“The life of my mind”
“We deliver”
“Now what?”
“What a relief”
“Fun, indeed”
“Dubious company”
“Making our own pies now”
“Filmed on location”
“Not best practices”
“Quo, man, quo”
“Egregiously misclassified”
“Delicious, vitalizing”
“Spark-emitting zeal”
“Now with a smaller marquee”
“Felt and tonic”
“I write everything in here”
“It’s nice to leave the shop”
“Expressing skepticism about the Beloit Mindset List
    since 2010”
“Tomorrow’s spelling today”
“Obviates elaboration”
“I don’t eat light bulbs”
“What is there still to discuss?”
“Alphabetically, it’s autumn”
“Courson Blatz”
“Today’s dizzyingly overfull, warp-speed Internet”
”Not that big of a deal”
“It’s rally, rally, rally cold”
“Surplus energy on the dancing floors”
And as one of these lines asks, “Now what?”

comments: 2

J D Lowe said...

Excellent! I'd elaborate on the 'Now What' question, but I'm late for bowling :-)

Michael Leddy said...

Are you stopping off for a little piz — er, salad later?