From The Onion? No, The Times.

Marie Myung-Ok’s New York Times column The Internet: A Welcome Distraction has at least one Onion-worthy sentence:

I have come to realize that my writing brain has been waiting for something exactly like today’s dizzyingly overfull, warp-speed Internet.

But she’s not writing a parody. The sentence that really got me thinking though is this one:

Jonathan Franzen found the Internet such a threat that he disabled it by plugging an Ethernet cable into his computer with super glue.

Damn that Franzen. He must be using one powerful computer.