Fresca wrote about a YouTube video about not killing yourself. The video’s title: “Using a safety plan to not kill yourself when the world is a shitshow!” Here’s Fresca’s post, with Carey Callahan’s video embedded. Callahan’s message, which comes with many practical suggestions: “Take care of yourself. Don’t fucking kill yourself.”
The post and the video reminded me of a passage from Tad Friend’s 2003 New Yorker article “Jumpers,” about suicide and the Golden Gate Bridge:
Survivors often regret their decision in midair, if not before. Ken Baldwin and Kevin Hines both say they hurdled over the railing, afraid that if they stood on the chord [a thirty-two-inch-wide beam] they might lose their courage. Baldwin was twenty-eight and severely depressed on the August day in 1985 when he told his wife not to expect him home till late. “I wanted to disappear,” he said. “So the Golden Gate was the spot. I’d heard that the water just sweeps you under.” On the bridge, Baldwin counted to ten and stayed frozen. He counted to ten again, then vaulted over. “I still see my hands coming off the railing,” he said. As he crossed the chord in flight, Baldwin recalls, “I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable — except for having just jumped.”[No thoughts of suicide here, or at Fresca’s blog. But one never knows what might be helpful to someone else, or when.]
Kevin Hines was eighteen when he took a municipal bus to the bridge one day in September, 2000. After treating himself to a last meal of Starbursts and Skittles, he paced back and forth and sobbed on the bridge walkway for half an hour. No one asked him what was wrong. A beautiful German tourist approached, handed him her camera, and asked him to take her picture, which he did. “I was like, ‘Fuck this, nobody cares,’ “ he told me. “So I jumped.” But after he crossed the chord, he recalls, “My first thought was What the hell did I just do? I don’t want to die.”
