Escalators, not over the hill

“The first thing they’d say was, ‘Please tell me you’re keeping the wooden escalators’”: “Macy’s Historic Wooden Escalators Survive Renovation” (The New York Times ).

[Bonus points if you recognize the source of the post title.]

William Maxwell: “the greatest pleasure there is”

The narrator leaves Lincoln, Illinois, to join and his father and stepmother Grace in the big city:


William Maxwell, So Long, See You Tomorrow (1980).

Other Maxwell posts
On childhood and familiar objects
On Melville and Cather
On sentences

Robert Walser: “something slight”

No deeds now! Listen, linger, remain rooted to the spot. Be divinely touched by something slight.

Robert Walser, “Tiergarten,” in Berlin Stories , trans. Susan Bernofsky (New York: New York Review Books, 2012).

Related reading
All OCA Robert Walser posts (Pinboard)

The last Mencken post

A Variety headline:

Pash Flaps M. C.
Fan Clubs Rated
Worthless to Theatres
As B. O. Gag.

Quoted in H. L. Mencken, The American Language: An Inquiry into the Development of English in the United States , 4th ed. (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1936).

Can you figure out what this headline is saying? Mencken gives a paraphrase as it appeared in the Manchester Guardian , January 30, 1930. No spoilers here: it’s in the comments.

Also from The American Language
The American a : The American v. the Englishman : Anglic : “Are you a speed-cop?” : Benjamin Franklin and spelling : B.V.D. : English American English : Franco-American : “[N]o faculty so weak as the English faculty” : On professor : Playing policy : Proper names in America : “There are words enough already” : The -thon , dancing and walking Through -thing and -thin’ : Vaudevillians at play : The verb to contact

[Finally made it to the end of this book.]

Blogger fail

The Ultimate Responsive Test: Is your site Apple Watch-responsive? Mine, no.

[If you follow the link, be sure to read the entire page. And test the site URL too.]

Domestic comedy

“If you hadn’t reminded me, I wouldn’t have even known what not to talk about.”

Related reading
All OCA “overheard” posts (Pinboard)

Vaudevillians at play

Mencken presents this exchange as the work of one Julius H. Marx — Groucho to you and me:

First Vaudevillian — How they comin’, Big Boy?

Second V. — Not so hot, not so hot. I’m playin’ a hit-and-run emporium over in East New York.

First V. — Gettin’ much jack?

Second V. — Well, the storm and me is cuttin’ up two and a half yards, but when the feed bill and gas for the boiler is marked off, they ain’t much sugar left.

First V. — Why don’t you air her and do a single?

Second V. — I guess I should; everyone that’s caught us says that the trick is a hundred per cent. me. I had ’em howling so forte last night the whole neighborhood was in an uproar. What are you doing these days?

First V. — I just closed with a turkey that went out to play forty weeks and folded up after ten days. Believe me, them WJZ and WEAF wise-crackers ain’t doin’ show business any good. In the West now they are even gettin’ the rodeo by radio.

Second V. — Why don’t you get yourself a partner and take a flyer?

First V. — Well, if I could get a mama that could do some hoofin’ and tickle a uke, I think I would.

Second V. — Well, ta ta, I gotta go now and make comical for the bozos. If you get a chance come over and get a load of me, but remember, Capt. Kidd, lay off my wow gags.

Quoted in H. L. Mencken, The American Language: An Inquiry into the Development of English in the United States , 4th ed. (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1936). Mencken gives the source as Franklin Pierce Adams’s newspaper column “The Conning Tower.” No date.

Also from The American Language
The American a : The American v. the Englishman : Anglic : “Are you a speed-cop?” : Benjamin Franklin and spelling : B.V.D. : English American English : Franco-American : “[N]o faculty so weak as the English faculty” : On professor : Playing policy : Proper names in America : “Slang is . . .” : “There are words enough already” : The -thon , dancing and walking Through -thing and -thin’ : The verb to contact

Remembrance of things past

“There’s a whole world of Internet activity devoted to creating fake files that can’t be opened. What I do is ask the student to send me the text of an essay as a plain e-mail. Wait a minute — I’m retired. I’m done with that! Screw that!”

A related post
The corrupted-file trick

Overheard

[A well-dressed woman .]

“If I’m still married when I’m forty, I’m gonna cut someone. My lawyer!” [Laughter. ]

Related reading
All OCA “overheard” posts (Pinboard)

Dream marriage

I was married to Audrey Hepburn, circa 1950-something, and was showing her that "Funny Face" and some other song were more or less the same song — same chord changes, similar melodies.

What other song? I was married to Audrey Hepburn: how can I be expected to remember these things?

Related reading
All OCA dream posts (Pinboard)

[This dream has my real wife’s approval.]