“Fo-wer, fi-yiv, sev-ven, ni-yen”

Gay Talese, New York: A Serendipiter’s Journey (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1961).

What a wonderful book, odds and ends of all sorts about the city and its creatures, human and non-. I saw a reference to the book (Talese’s first) in a New York Times piece last Saturday that Matt Thomas linked to. (Talk about serendipity.)

New York: A Serendipiter’s Journey is out of print and hard to find. AbeBooks and Alibris list a single copy for sale ($61.01). I snagged a copy as an interlibrary loan and have already suggested to New York Review Books that the book merits reissuing. For now, I’m xeroxing.

A related post
Gay Talese’s address book

Tie cleaning in New York

In New York: A Serendipiter’s Journey (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1961), Gay Talese describes New York as a city in which “a former adman, Stuart Bart, has made a fortune by cleaning only ties.”

Stuart Bart was the subject of “Expressing the Id,” a New Yorker “Talk of the Town” piece (April 10, 1954). In 1954, Bart was the vice-president of Stuart Bart Advertising (founded 1939) and the president of Tiecrafters, Inc. (founded 1952). In 1954, Tiecrafters, located on East 57th Street, was cleaning 7500 ties a month, at fifty cents a tie. A 1961 New York Times article reported that the company had five Manhattan locations. Today Tiecrafters is still in business on West 29th Street, cleaning ties and scarves and doing alterations. “Tie slimming” is a real thing, though it sounds like a premise for a Bob and Ray sketch.

The “Talk of the Town” item has some choice observations from Bart. For instance:

“A tie represents not only your personality but your mood. What I call the Visible V — the triangular area between coat lapels — offers a modern businessman his only means of expressing his id sartorially.”

And:

“You should place your tie under your collar before getting into your shirt.”

So I’ve been going about it all wrong. Not only do I wait to put tie under collar; I don’t even get into my shirts. I put them on.

Also from New York: A Serendipiter’s Journey
Chestnuts, pigeons, statues
“Fo-wer, fi-yiv, sev-ven, ni-yen”
Klenosky!
Leeches, catnip oil, strange potions

Leeches, catnip oil, strange potions

The place floats by in a one-sentence paragraph, one more detail in “a city of things unnoticed”:

Within a serene brownstone on Lexington Avenue, on the corner of Eighty-second Street, a pharmacist named Frederick D. Lascoff for years has been selling leeches to battered prizefighters, catnip oil to lion hunters and thousands of strange potions to people in exotic places around the world.

Gay Talese, New York: A Serendipiter’s Journey (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1961).

J. Leon Lascoff opened a pharmacy in 1899. His son Frederick followed him in the business. J. Leon Lascoff & Son, Apothecaries (or Lascoff Drugs), closed in 2012. From 1931 to the end, the store stood as 1209 Lexington.

There is much affection for Lascoff Drugs online. Forgotten New York and Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York have substantial posts on the pharmacy. (The latter also has an epitaph.) Flickr has a goodly number of photographs.

From a 1953 New York Times story about the store’s collection of old mortars, pestles, and apothecary jars:

Nearly 2,000,000 prescriptions have been filled since Dr. J. Leon Lascoff, father of the present owner, founded the shop in 1899. Among these was one from Los Angeles for hiera picra, a drug virtually forgotten since ancient Egyptian times. The late Martin Johnson used to stock up on catnip oil at Lascoff’s to lure lions in Africa. A millionaire once bought bottles of attar of roses, at $35 an ounce, to perfume his home. Prize-fight managers still get leeches at Lascoff’s, although a hypodermic needle would reduce a black eye better.

Dr. Lascoff fears his collection is getting too well known. Recently, while haggling over an antique mortar in a Columbus Avenue “thrift shop,” the proprietor told him:

“Take it for ten bucks. There’s a crazy druggist on Lexington Avenue at Eighty-second who’ll pay you double for junk like that.”

The 1209 address is now occupied by Warby Parker, described by a real-estate broker as “a wonderful addition to the community.” Things could be worse: the Lascoff neon sign (here’s a closeup) remains on display, minus Lascoff Drugs but still bearing the word Prescriptions . Clever.

Also from New York: A Serendipiter’s Journey
Chestnuts, pigeons, statues
“Fo-wer, fi-yiv, sev-ven, ni-yen”

Klenosky!

Just one sentence about New York City:

It is the town of hope for Billy Klenosky, a song writer whose masterpiece, “April in Siberia,” was voted “Bomb of the Month” by radio station WINS.

Gay Talese, New York: A Serendipiter’s Journey (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1961).

As Billy, Mr. Klenosky leaves virtually no digital trail: the name appears in Portuguese and Spanish translations of Talese’s book, and in a Chicago Tribune review of the book. The name William yields more. The Social Security Death Index lists one William Klenosky, born May 28, 1922, died July 15, 1988. His parents were Sol (1894–1970) and Bessie Frenkel Klenosky (1899–1974). Sol was a restaurateur; Bessie, a “fundraiser and production chief” for the American Red Cross. William enlisted in the Army in October 1942 and served as a private. Bessie and William were both residents of Kew Gardens, Queens, when they died.

“April in Siberia” — or “April in Siberia!” — was released in 1959, one side of a 45 on the Bald Eagle label. The performer: Billy “K.” (A name meant to suggest Murray the K?) Billboard called the record “semi-humorous”:


[Billboard , April 13, 1959.]

William Klenosky made his first appearance in the New York Times in 1960, not as a songwriter but as a political candidate, running in a Democratic primary to represent Queens’s Fourth Congressional District. He lost. In July 1961, he was hoping to be elected mayor of New York, dropping a bid for the Democratic nomination to run as an independent. By August, he was collecting signatures to run under the name of the New City party (presumably a party of his creation). On September 20 the Times reported that Klenosky had submitted petitions with 7,600 names. And a day later, the New City campaign was over:


[New York Times , September 21, 1961.]

But no sign in the Times yet of “April in Siberia.” That would come two years later. On May 6, 1963, the show UTOPIA! A Musical opened at Manhattan’s Folksbiene Playhouse, presented by Billy K Productions, with book, music, and lyrics by William Klenosky, and a cast of twenty-seven. On May 7 the Times published a review by Louis Calta. The show’s premise was odd: an astronaut and cosmonaut encounter a group of Tories living in the Rocky Mountains. “A silly little musical,” “a lot of inadvertent humor,” “some strange doings,” said the Times . The reviewer managed to spell Klenosky’s name both correctly and incorrectly in the course of just a few hundred words. Among the show’s songs (all of which the Times pronounced “inadequate”): “I Work for Pravda,” “The Masses Are Asses,” “You’ve Got the Devil in Your Eyes,” and, yes, “April in Siberia.”

The Times review is perhaps most valuable for its summary of Klenosky’s mayoral campaign:


[New York Times , May 7, 1963.]

UTOPIA! closed on May 12.

In 1966 Klenosky was a Republican candidate for office, running to represent Queens’s Tenth District in the New York State Senate. He lost to Democrat S. R. Thaler. In 1967 Klenosky was back on Off-Broadway, with a one-man revue, Klenosky Against the Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Fortune , presented by “Billy K Productions in association with God,” with book “by Life,” music and lyrics by Klenosky, and “lighting by Con Edison.” Among the numbers: “Krushchev, Castro and Klenosky,” “The Republican Dilemma: Goldwater or Klenosky,” “Klenosky v. Thaler,” and “Lindsay Was Prettier and Taller Than Klenosky and Who’s Sorry Now?” The show closed within two weeks. For those unacquainted with the name, John V. Lindsay was elected mayor of New York City in 1965. Does that song title mean that Klenosky attempted a second run for mayor? Or was he still ruing his 1961 petitions debacle?

These fragments of a life suggest to me that William Klenosky had a marked and not necessarily congenial sense of humor, a strong ability to resist discouragement, a penchant for self-dramatization and exclamation points, and an extravagant sense of his own importance. I can imagine him sitting on Joe Franklin’s couch: “Here’s a young songwriter and performer I’m sure we’re going to be hearing a lot more from.”

For eighteen dollars, it’s possible to hear at least a little something from William Klenosky: eBay recently listed a copy of “April in Siberia!” b/w “She Broke My Heart, So I Broke Her Jaw.” The address for the Bald Eagle label: 80-32 Lefferts Boulevard, Kew Gardens 15, New York. Klenosky was breaking into the music business from home: 80-32 is a residential address, and it was Klenosky’s address when he filed his petitions in 1961. Today the 80-32 residence is still owned by a Klenosky.

The record is on its way here. Stay tuned.

*

March 1, 2016: I wondered whether the 1966 song “Lindsay Was Prettier and Taller Than Klenosky and Who’s Sorry Now?” was evidence of a second Klenosky run for mayor of New York City. Yes, it was. A newspaper editorial made a passing reference to a 1965 Klenosky campaign:


[“Absurd Law,” Milwaukee Sentinel , October 1, 1965.]

The Losers Party! Readers of a certain age will remember the New York Mets as largely hapless in their early years.

*

March 1, 2016: I am now the proud owner of a copy of William Klenosky’s 1959 45. Here are two snippets that illustrate Klenosky’s broad — some would say overbearing — sense of humor: “April in Siberia!” and “She Broke My Heart, So I Broke Her Jaw.” Notice the glitches with time: nine seconds into the first snippet, thirty-five seconds into the second, the singer is racing ahead of his own music.

Thanks to Elaine for digitizing these snippets.

Also from New York: A Serendipiter’s Journey
Chestnuts, pigeons, statues
“Fo-wer, fi-yiv, sev-ven, ni-yen”
Leeches, catnip oil, strange potions

New York Times sources
“Results of Primary Contest in City.” June 9, 1960.
“Levitt Denounces Wagner As Failing in Leadership.” July 25, 1961.
“2 Mayoral Petitions Issued.” August 10, 1961.
“9 Entries Listed in Mayoral Race As Filing Is Ended.” September 20, 1961.
“Stephen Kennedy Still Undecided.” September 21, 1961.
“Theater Tonight.” May 6, 1963.
“Theater: ‘Utopia!’ Opens: Musical by Klenosky at Folksbiene Playhouse.” May 7, 1963.
“8th ‘Utopia!’ Show Is Last.” May 13, 1963.
Death notice for Sol Klenosky. October 9, 1970.
Obituary for Bessie Klenosky. December 20, 1974.

Other sources
“Reviews of New Pop Records.” Billboard , April 13, 1959.
Dan Dietz, The Off Broadway Musical, 1910–2007 (Jefferson, NC: McFarland, 2010).

[Dietz’s book is my source for song titles and the details of Klenosky’s shows.]

Spirits and bad grammar

In New York: A Serendipiter’s Journey (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1961), Gay Talese writes about New York City policewoman Clare Faulhaber (1923–2008), undercover catcher of fortunetellers. (She could make an arrest only when someone predicted the future or stole money.) Here Faulhaber describes a visit to a séance. She wore a maternity dress as a disguise:

“Anyway, soon the medium came in. She was a small, elderly woman with white hair, dressed in a dinner gown. The people got into a circle around her, and soon she was saying, ‘I’m getting vibrations — vibrations for a woman who is holding a new life within herself. Is there anyone present who is holding a new life within herself?’

“And there I was,” says Miss Faulhaber, “wearing the maternity dress for all to see and the only thing I had bulging out under it was the belt and holder containing my 32-caliber pistol. Later the medium had a plate passed around, and people put $1 and $5 bills on it, and the lights dimmed. This is when she started to go into a deep trance and began talking. First she was somebody’s ‘Uncle Bill’ and then later she was somebody’s mother, but what really bothered me was that no matter who the spirits happened to be, they all made the same grammatical errors.”

These passages earlier appeared in an article Talese wrote for The New York Times , “The Occult Cult Flourishes” (October 12, 1958). Faulhaber was the subject of a later Times article, “Policewoman Yclept Faulhaber Gave Up Chaucer for the Force” (April 10, 1964), in which R. W. Apple Jr. notes Faulhaber’s earlier career teaching Middle English at Marymount College, her 1963 award as New York City’s outstanding policewoman, and a 1961 incident in which Faulhaber was attacked by two panhandlers posing as Roman Catholic nuns. And then:

FAULHABER — Clare W., of Manhattan, 84, died January 19, 2008. Clare was a Police Detective for the City of New York for 20 years before retiring. She was a member of the New York City Veterans Police Association.

Also from this book
Chestnuts, pigeons, statues : “Fo-wer, fi-yiv, sev-ven, ni-yen” : Klenosky! : Leeches, catnip oil, strange potions : A real-life Bookman : Tie cleaning in New York

[The photograph is from the 1964 article. Click for a larger view. New York Review Books, please reissue this wonderful book.]

A real-life Bookman

In New York: A Serendipiter’s Journey (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1961), Gay Talese describes the work of John T. Murphy, “veteran sleuth” and Supervising Investigator for the New York Public Library. Murphy and a staff of seven tracked down missing books. An excerpt:

Although people who maliciously keep overdue books thirty days or more can be jailed, Murphy is content to regain the books and collect the five-cents-per-day-overdue charge, and then ban the culprit from the libraries. Many fines have run into hundreds of dollars per person. Not long ago Murphy’s men caught a little lady in Brooklyn with 1,200 overdue books. They were able to track her down, despite all her pseudonyms, by matching the handwriting on her various cards and by noting that she invariably borrowed novels of light romance. Librarians were alerted to the handwriting style and the lady’s penchant for light romance, and it was only a matter of time. When the lady was caught she was sent to a mental hospital; she was an insatiable kleptomaniac — but one of New York’s most well-read crooks.

Talese first wrote about Murphy for The New York Times (July 4, 1960), in an short article titled “Library Sleuths Trail Lost Books.” The image below is from a larger Times photograph of Murphy and books.

Also from this book
Chestnuts, pigeons, statues : “Fo-wer, fi-yiv, sev-ven, ni-yen” : Klenosky! : Leeches, catnip oil, strange potions : Tie cleaning in New York

[If you’re not familiar with Lieutenant Bookman, see here and here.]

Chestnuts, pigeons, statues

Gay Talese, New York: A Serendipiter’s Journey (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1961).

It behooves me to say that the part about the hoofs is not accurate. But it was the chestnuts, or rather their aroma, that drew me to this passage. I’m ten again, leaving the American Museum of Natural History. I don’t like chestnuts, just the aroma.

A related post
“Fo-wer, fi-yiv, sev-ven, ni-yen”

[The statue that first comes to my mind: the Sherman Memorial, with one hoof off the ground. William Tecumseh Sherman did not die of wounds received in battle. Frank O’Hara put that statue in a poem.]