Overheard

[A well-dressed woman .]

“If I’m still married when I’m forty, I’m gonna cut someone. My lawyer!” [Laughter. ]

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All OCA “overheard” posts (Pinboard)

Dream marriage

I was married to Audrey Hepburn, circa 1950-something, and was showing her that "Funny Face" and some other song were more or less the same song — same chord changes, similar melodies.

What other song? I was married to Audrey Hepburn: how can I be expected to remember these things?

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All OCA dream posts (Pinboard)

[This dream has my real wife’s approval.]

Recently updated

Missing pencil sculpture Once lost, now found.

Nabokov: “mere scenery”

The past, in the form of the wreckage of an affair:


Vladimir Nabokov, Ada, or Ardor: A Family Chronicle (1969).

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College prez likens college prez to star infielder, English prof to minor leaguer

I heard about it but had to read it to believe it. Scott Scarborough, president of the University of Akron (rebranded “Ohio’s Polytechnic University”), explaining the disparity between administrative and faculty salaries:

“It”s hard to explain why a president might make eight times as much as an English-faculty professor in the same way it’s hard to explain why a power-hitting third basemen makes more than someone playing for the RubberDucks. They’re both playing the same sport. They’re both playing the same position. And yet one makes a thousand times more.”

Aside from the insult, this analogy is remarkably faulty. Administrators and faculty don’t do the same work. And there is no reason to assume that an administrator as such is a stellar performer or that a faculty member as such is strictly minor league. The RubberDucks, as you might know, are Akron’s minor-league team, so Scarborough is insulting not just faculty but the hometown team as well.

The University of Akron appears to be a school in crisis. It’s never a good sign when a school’s president becomes the object of mockery in an online game.

The Adjunct Project reports that Akron pays its adjunct faculty $800 to $4,000 per course. Scott Scarborough’s starting salary: $450,000.

*

June 1, 2016: The Chronicle of Higher Education reports that Scott Scarborough has resigned.

Related posts
Income disparity in higher ed
Inequality v. disparity

“Slang is . . . ”

From a Mencken footnote:

“Slang,” said Carl Sandburg, “is language that takes off its coat, spits on its hands, and gets to work.” “Slang,” said Victor Hugo, “ is a dressing-room in which language, having an evil deed to prepare, puts on a disguise.” “Slang,” said Ambrose Bierce, “is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage-carts on their way to the dumps.” Emerson and Whitman were its partisans. “What can describe the folly and emptiness of scolding,“ asked the former (Journals, 1840), like the word jawing ?” “Slang,” said Whitman, “is the wholesome fermentation or eructation of those processes eternally active in language, by which the froth and specks are thrown up, mostly to pass away, though occasionally to settle and permanently crystalize.” (Slang in America , 1885). And again: “These words ought to be collected — the bad words as well as the good. Many of the bad words are fine” (An American Primer , c . 1856.)

H. L. Mencken, The American Language: An Inquiry into the Development of English in the United States , 4th ed. (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1936).

And now I think of Julia A. Moore, the Sweet Singer of Michigan, and her trenchant praise of “Temperance Reform Clubs” and their members:

Those noble men were kind and brave
    They care not for the slang —
The slang they meet on every side

Aw, nerts.

Also from The American Language
The American a : The American v. the Englishman : Anglic : “Are you a speed-cop?” : Benjamin Franklin and spelling : B.V.D. : English American English : Franco-American : “[N]o faculty so weak as the English faculty” : On professor : Playing policy : Proper names in America : “There are words enough already” : The -thon , dancing and walking Through -thing and -thin’ : The verb to contact

Signage

As seen on a billboard: “We Are Into S & N.” That is, spaying and neutering. With a photograph of a cat and dog wearing leather.

Cute? Not so much.

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All OCA signage posts (Pinboard)

Missing pencil sculpture

A pencil sculpture — twelve-feet tall, 200 pounds — is missing from the campus of Purdue University.

Okay, whodunit?

*

November 20: The pencil has been found.

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All OCA pencil posts

Sardines and cigarettes

 
[“Baskets of sardines.” Cigarette card from the George Arents Collection. From the New York Public Library Digital Collections. Click either image for a larger view.]

Not quite the ring of “coffee and cigarettes.” (A fine movie, Jim Jarmusch.) “Pilchards and cigarettes” doesn’t quite work either. But “semolina pilchard” — now there’s something.

A recent story from a British tabloid gives new meaning to “sardines and cigarettes.” Proceed at your own risk.

Related reading, via Pinboard
All OCA cigarette posts
All OCA sardine posts

A brief message from the Academy of Lifelong Learning

A problem should retain its shape and size. If a large problem cannot be found, a small problem ought not to step in to take its place.

[Me, today, UPS and USPS.]