Dear Dean:This piece seems to circulate among musicans on the net. My wife Elaine received it recently in an e-mail. Its author is unknown, at least to us. You can read it in its entirety via the link.
This is in response to your suggestion that we appoint Mr. Wolfgang Mozart to our music faculty. The music department appreciates your interest, but the faculty is sensitive about its prerogatives in the selection of new colleagues.
While the list of works and performances the candidate has submitted is very full, it reflects too much activity outside academia. Mr. Mozart does not have an earned doctorate and has very little formal education and teaching experience. There is also significant evidence of personal instability evidenced in his resume. Would he really settle down in a large state university like ours? Would he really be a team player?
LINK: "Why Mozart Didn't Get Tenure" (from spiritsound.com)