Overheard

My wife Elaine, as the toaster dinged:

"That's the sound of one tart popping."

This is not a telegram

The Retro-Gram is a faux telegram, delivered as a .pdf via e-mail at no cost, or on paper via first-class mail "for a mere US$3.95." How postmodern can one get?

» Retro-Gram (link via snowangels)

*

September 2016: Both sites are gone.

NYT on professors, students, and e-mail

Stefan Hagemann pointed me to an article by Jonathan Glater in today's New York Times, "To: Professor@University.edu Subject: Why It's All About Me." An excerpt:

One student skipped class and then sent the professor an e-mail message asking for copies of her teaching notes. Another did not like her grade, and wrote a petulant message to the professor. Another explained that she was late for a Monday class because she was recovering from drinking too much at a wild weekend party.

Jennifer Schultens, an associate professor of mathematics at the University of California, Davis, received this e-mail message last September from a student in her calculus course: "Should I buy a binder or a subject notebook? Since I'm a freshman, I'm not sure how to shop for school supplies. Would you let me know your recommendations? Thank you!"

At colleges and universities nationwide, e-mail has made professors much more approachable. But many say it has made them too accessible, erasing boundaries that traditionally kept students at a healthy distance.

These days, they say, students seem to view them as available around the clock, sending a steady stream of e-mail messages -- from 10 a week to 10 after every class -- that are too informal or downright inappropriate.

You can read my guidelines for e-mailing a professor by clicking on the link below. This post is, as the sidebar jokes, my #1 hit, with thousands of visits.

» How to e-mail a professor

Yet another word from the Greek

I've been wondering for a while whether to post this bit -- I just wasn't sure what to do. Merriam-Webster's (February 1) Word of the Day:

abulia \ay-BOO-lee-uh\ noun
: abnormal lack of ability to act or to make decisions

Example sentence:

"Since his college graduation, my son seems to be suffering from abulia -- —he just can't decide what he wants to do next," sighed Philip.

Did you know?

"I must have a prodigious quantity of mind," Mark Twain once wrote. "It takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up." The indecision Twain laments is fairly common; only when inability to make decisions reaches an abnormal level does it have an uncommon name: "abulia." The English term we use today comes from a New Latin word that combines the prefix "a-," meaning "without," with the Greek word "boulē," meaning "will." "Abulia" can refer to the kind of generalized indecision that makes it impossible to choose what flavor ice cream you want, though it was created to name a severe medical disorder that can render a person nearly inert.

» Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day

Laughing in the drugstore

My wife Elaine jokingly pointed out a line of Bald Guyz products in the drugstore this afternoon. After careful examination, I had to buy a box of Head Wipes. For $4.99, who could ask for a better typo?

Our cashier didn't get it. If I'd had a Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary with me, I would've said "mange: any of various persistent contagious skin diseases marked esp. by eczematous inflammation and loss of hair, affecting domestic animals or sometimes humans, and caused by a minute parasitic mite."

The other Bald Guyz products -- sunscreen, shampoo -- had awkward-looking blue stickers over the offending text, asking consumers to let the company know what they need. But the Head Wipes had somehow, err, slipped through.

I know what BG Products needs: more careful proofreading. (Moisturizes is a typo too.)

Update (June 7, 2007): An unexpected discovery about Bald Guyz Head Wipes!

Barbara Guest (1920-2006)

The poet Barbara Guest died on Wednesday in Berkeley, California.

The problem proposed to the lemon tree. When
will your green fruit turn yellow? When shall I
understand Minneapolis?

If not grain by grain, at least loaf by loaf.

If not the river flow, at least its turn and tributary.

Still there are permissions to approach through that
immigrant air.

From The Countess from Minneapolis (1976)

New, improved

If you're a returning visitor to Orange Crate Art, you'll notice that I've given my blog yet another makeover. The dotted lines and little arrows of the Rounders template no longer pleased me, so I spent a fair amount of time this afternoon deconstructing the template, risking disaster at every moment (because I have very little idea what I'm doing!).

I like the clean lines, white columns, and dark background very much, and the signboard at the top gives Orange Crate Art more of that same great orange taste. Reader, I hope that you like it too.

The poetry of spam

In my mailbox this evening, there was a plea for URGENT ATTENTION from one Gregorio Singleton. A name like that and he needs attention? His name bears a curious similarity to that of Faustino Pendleton, who showed up in my mailbox two days ago.

Thinking about the folks who live in the mail reminded me of a wonderful post by Sean Payne on his blog Sign Language. Therein Sean analyzes the gnomic utterances of "poet" Jasper Gamble, whose work arrives in unbidden e-mails sent under a variety of aliases -- "Summer Pitts, Thomas Colon, Wean Diesel, and even Rosetta Beard."

You can read Sean's witty commentary on Jasper and company via the link.

» Jasper Gamble, the poetry of spam

Update: I've given Faustino Pendleton and Gregorio Singleton imaginary lives as designers whose product lines are featured on the Home Shopping Network -- "Faustino for Her" and "The Singleton Collection," respectively. I'm not sure though what products these lines feature.

Overheard

"Is he involved with anyone -- besides himself?"

Scary mail

This sentence, from today's mail, needs rewriting:

I am excited to tell you that we have selected your English department as one that will receive the special attention of a [publisher's name] English discipline specialist this spring.