Domestic comedy

“And you asked him?”

“Yes.”

“And he deigned to reply?”

“Yes, he deigned.”

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Domestic comedy

“I’m too tired for idioms.”

”Suit yourself.”

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Domestic comedy

“What song am I singing in my head?” [Begins to saunter.]

“Main Street!”

[Astonished.] “How did you guess that?”

“You were sauntering.”

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[“Main Street,” music by Roger Edens, lyrics by Betty Comden and Adolph Green, from On the Town (dir. Stanley Donen and Gene Kelly, 1949). And no, we had not just seen On the Town. It was a matter of father-daughter ESP.]

Domestic comedy

“I’m sure beer and chocolate is a thing somewhere.”

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[Whaddaya know? It is.]

Domestic comedy

“You can’t objectify me. You’re too subjectified!”

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Domestic comedy

"You like nice in that getup."

"Getup?"

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Domestic comedy

“Oh — Groundhog Day is on again.”

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Domestic comedy

“We should eat some lunch.”

“Yes, and.”

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[We had been talking about the rules of improv.]

Domestic comedy

[Idling at an intersection with a diagonal crossing .]

“It’s a pedestrian-friendly gesture, that’s for sure!”

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[The diagonal crossing is also known by the names Barnes dance, pedestrian scramble, and scramble intersection. WALK.]

Domestic comedy

“Did you do the dishes last night?”

“Yes, you identified me as doing them, as such.”

Elaine and I have been working the empty phrases “as such” and “at that” into our conversation. Living where we do, we have long been accustomed to making our own fun.

How, earlier in the day, had I identified Elaine as the dishdoer? By the spatula in the dishdrainer. Elaine puts those larger tools in the cutlery cups. I stand them up in the small rectangles formed by the coated wires running the length and width of the drainer. When I asked about the dishes, the spatula was gone.

As I said, “our own fun.” And good fun at that.

I have written this post in the excellent writing app iA Writer. When I turned on the Style Check (for fun), the app suggested removing “as such” from these sentences. No way.

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Domestic comedy

[While watching The Kennel Murder Case (1933). ]

“Did you see that dress she’s not wearing?”

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Domestic comedy

[Upon returning from a partial — partial indeed — eclipse.]

“It’s dark in the house.”

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Domestic comedy

[On the television: Christmas episodes of Lassie , every day.]

“But they just showed this one!”

“I’m a goldfish.”

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Domestic comedy

While watching five minutes of Jeopardy:

“Who would name their kid Jove?”

“Saturn?”

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Jove Graham Wins on Jeopardy! (Swarthmore News)

Domestic comedy

“I live in Shibboleth, Illinois.”

See also Missouri.

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Domestic comedy

Some people just don’t like Sideways (dir. Alexander Payne, 2004):

“Wait ’til you’re older. Then you might like it.”

“I am older.”

“Even older. Older still!”

On an international note: Sideways has been remade as a Japanese film (dir. Cellin Gluck, 2009). Sideways, according to the trailer. Saidoweizu, according to IMDB.

How old do you have to be to like Sideways? At least forty, I’d say.

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2009 Sideways trailer (YouTube)

Domestic comedy

“But two days ago you liked her!”

“But that was before I knew her!”

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Domestic comedy

“I knew it had to be a fragrance commercial, because it was completely incoherent.”

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Domestic comedy

“Basmati?”

“No, chasm rice.”

I wanted to give Elaine credit, but as she pointed out, I labeled the jar some time ago. Blame it on the “Summer Breeze.”

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Domestic comedy

[At the kitchen table, reading a wine label.]

“Does it say anything about lamb?”

“No, it just says to express your soul.”

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[The wine in question: 2017 Caracter Malbec, from Argentina. It’s inexpensive and delicious. We have several bottles. And yes, it goes well with lamb.]