Saturday, August 1, 2015

How to improve writing (no. 61)

[Mark Trail, August 1, 2015.]

“Any signs of anything”: ponderous. “In this area”: obviously. Mark has traveled into the Gulf of Mexico, where Mississippi Ken [sic ] and Foxylocks Kelly [sic ] have a dead shark on ice for him. Omit needless words.

Related reading
All OCA How to improve writing psosts
All OCA Mark Trail posts
All OCA How to improve Mark Trail posts (Pinboard)

[This post is no. 61 in a series, “How to improve writing,” dedicated to improving stray bits of public prose.]

comments: 3

Frex said...

I was thinking you could cut "take a quick" too, leaving "I want to look underwater...", but how much can you cut before you lose the flavor of speech?

Hm. That makes me wonder, does Mark have a distinct way of speaking?

Frex = Fresca

Michael Leddy said...

Ponderously and quaintly. As in his use of the word “fellows.”

Yes, if you go too far, he’ll begin to sound like a telegram.

Fresca said...

"Ponderously and quaintly."
So dear!