tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8343608.post4127978454116205873..comments2024-03-27T16:02:25.334-05:00Comments on Orange Crate Art: How to improve writing (no. 67)Michael Leddyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05547732736861224886noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8343608.post-83327901504520536162016-09-28T06:36:02.240-05:002016-09-28T06:36:02.240-05:00The writer could replace the first two dashes with...The writer could replace the first two dashes with parentheses, replace the first <i>and</i> with a comma, and replace the third dash with a comma. I agree with you that the sentence needs work.Michael Leddyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05547732736861224886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8343608.post-69983695109436314062016-09-28T05:12:05.120-05:002016-09-28T05:12:05.120-05:00See something, say something. I just found this se...See something, say something. I just found this sentence in my <a href="http://democracyjournal.org/magazine/42/the-private-debt-crisis/" rel="nofollow">econ reading</a>:<br /><br /><b>In its rush to grow, China has simply built far too many buildings—witness the many ghost towns—and produced far too much steel, iron, and other commodities—and made far too many bad loans in the process.</b><br /><br /><i>Three</i> dashes. That's outrageous. I think the writer got lost in his sentence.<br />The Arthurianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16501331051089400601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8343608.post-57461861617365051592016-09-07T07:25:04.125-05:002016-09-07T07:25:04.125-05:00I wish I could remember who points out that dashes...I wish I could remember who points out that dashes can proliferate in ways that damage prose. One pair, another, one more, so that they become easier and easier to rely on and end up doing what commas could do (as on many pages of this book).Michael Leddyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05547732736861224886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8343608.post-59651885631122218372016-09-07T06:56:52.841-05:002016-09-07T06:56:52.841-05:00Great. Now I have to go looking for ponderousness ...Great. Now I have to go looking for ponderousness every time I use a dash.<br />:)<br /><br />Good post.<br />The Arthurianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16501331051089400601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8343608.post-35362956255260265812016-09-06T15:07:48.664-05:002016-09-06T15:07:48.664-05:00Hey wait a minute: these posts are about public pr...Hey wait a minute: these posts are about <i>public</i> prose. :)Michael Leddyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05547732736861224886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8343608.post-15607101018529046862016-09-06T13:19:46.938-05:002016-09-06T13:19:46.938-05:00You're lucky you're married. After 67 inst...You're lucky you're married. After 67 installments of "How to Improve Writing," I don't think anyone would dare write you a love letter. :)Geo-Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09228768953715204493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8343608.post-3772277229112178752016-09-06T11:49:53.251-05:002016-09-06T11:49:53.251-05:00Yeah. You notice even there the prepositional phra...Yeah. You notice even there the prepositional phrases? How about just “a great ear for what sounds right”? Get me rewrite!Michael Leddyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05547732736861224886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8343608.post-32214544514463899092016-09-06T09:18:02.878-05:002016-09-06T09:18:02.878-05:00“finely tuned combo of eye and ear for proper voic...“finely tuned combo of eye and ear for proper voice and structure”<br /><br />I'd like to see an illustration... maybe musical instruments building a house of cards?<br /><br />Frescahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15323129046492056942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8343608.post-23556550165631640752016-09-06T08:58:32.844-05:002016-09-06T08:58:32.844-05:00At least now the book can do no harm. :)At least now the book can do no harm. :)Michael Leddyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05547732736861224886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8343608.post-73424658513112982932016-09-06T08:57:34.894-05:002016-09-06T08:57:34.894-05:00This blog post makes the 70 (or so) cents we paid ...This blog post makes the 70 (or so) cents we paid for the book worthwhile. I admit that I judged the book by its cover and subject matter (the cover is indeed very nice) and failed to perform the page 90 test. When I attempted to read it in the coffee area of the library I found the book unreadable. I was tempted to just leave it on the table for the next victim. Elaine Finehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14248422399226824168noreply@blogger.com